Well, I'm not. I am literally asking you to hear Ye because Ye (aka Kanye West) has said that he will stand for President of the USA in the coming elections.
Poor America, as if almost four years of President Laranje Tinto hasn't been enough, Ye is now threatening to throw his red MAGA hat in the ring.
One might wonder why on earth would he (or Ye, take your pick) go against Trump, who is supposed to be his pal. Apparently, according to the reliable source that is Ye, they are no longer friends. Now that may be true but then again it may be a clever ploy to steal votes from Biden.
Either way, I wouldn't scoff. Remember all the scoffing that went on in 2016? I don't mean to be unkind and remind you, but see who's in the White House now.
Makes me wonder what Kim Kardashian will be known for, if she gets to be First Lady.
Jackie Kennedy was known for her style, Hillary was known for putting up with Bill Clinton's cigar smoking, Michelle Obama for being inspirational and for growing organic vegetables in the White House garden, Melania Trump for practising her formidable forehand on her husband's grasping little hand and for only ever been seen to smile in the presence of Prime Minister Trudeau.
Perhaps First Lady Kim will be known for twerking in President Ye's West Wing (I apologise for any image that might conjure up for you).
Meanwhile, in Britain, the Government is happily flinging things open and the instructions as usual are crystal clear. We are urged to 'eat out, to help out', while at the same time being encouraged to wear a mask at all times in public spaces.
The last time I checked, restaurants tended to have other diners, so I would have to have my mask on, which would make eating (and smelling) the food a bit of a challenge. As I said, crystal clear as always.
If you are an inhabitant of Planet Earth and you're a tad concerned about the cognitive skills of the man leading the most powerful country in the world, fear not.
According to the man himself, he has recently taken a cognitive test in front of doctors in a medical centre and you will be relieved to know that he 'aced' it. In actual fact, he aced it to such an extent, that the doctors were astounded and said that they had never seen anything like it. He aced the test in a way that had never been aced before.
Now, if only just one of those fictional doctors would come forward to corroborate the acing of the fictional cognitive test, we, the inhabitants of planet Earth, could heave a collective, fictional, sigh of relief.
Until next time, try and keep it light. Also, remember to stay safe and wear a face mask, even when you eat out to help out.
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