Donald Trump ventured out of the USA on a foreign tour. His poor aides must have suffered from 'heart in mouth' disease the whole time. Can you imagine how it feels, when your boss is the president of the most powerful country in the world but wouldn't recognise, much less practice, diplomacy if it lifted his toupee and bopped him on the head?!
In the meanwhile, Melania wasn't having any hand holding PDA. When he attempted to hold hands, she impressively and expertly swatted it away like a tennis player whacking an orange tennis ball.
Not that I blame her. Here is a tip for you Mr. President. When you want to hold hands with your wife, slow down, wait for her to catch up and then gently hold hands. Do not look straight ahead and without breaking stride, stretch your arm behind you and waggle your fingers at her.
From the Middle East to Italy, where they met Pope Francis. Trump was gushing and looked very impressed. Judging by a photo taken with the trump family, the Pope didn't share the sentiment. He looked like a stern headmaster, unlike Trump, who stood beside him, grinning as if he was in an advertisement for toothpaste.
Melania, the second catholic first lady after Jackie Kennedy to meet the Pope, wore a look that rivalled the Pope's in sternness, and a black veil, which to put it delicately, was less than flattering. Seems like she may have forgotten to cast a glance in a mirror after donning it on.
I have discovered something that the Pope has in common with Goans - the ability to make unsolicited comments and observations on a person's weight!
Making reference to Trump's waistline he asked her what she fed him, to which she replied 'Potica'. Apparently, it is a highly calorific Slovenian pastry. And I thought it was large, fat, juicy steaks.
Trump said that he didn't want to call the terrorist who set off a bomb in Manchester a monster, he said that they were all losers.
I call them 'less humans'. Heartless, merciless and soulless.
Ironically, the one quality that is the most desirable in all humans, is also a 'less' word - selfless. Among all the selfless deeds of kindnesses displayed by the people present at that time, I would like to focus on this one because I think it gives new meaning to the word 'selfless'.
A couple, Kim and Phil Dick, went to pick up their 17 year old and 16 year old daughter and grand daughter, when the bomb went off. While desperately trying to look for their girls, they came across a dazed and badly injured 14 year old girl. Her hair was singed, she had a melted plastic bag stuck to her hair and was bleeding profusely.
This amazing woman sent her husband to look for their girls, while she looked after this girl, consoling and reassuring her, before the paramedics arrived. Fortunately their girls were unharmed.
Every parents' instinct in such situations is to reassure themselves of their own child's safety. For this woman to put this basic, human instinct to one side, to look after someone else's child, is heartwarming and gives us hope that these perpetrators of darkness and misery will not win.
Until next week, stay safe.
Sunday 28 May 2017
Sunday 21 May 2017
A lighter look at the news
If you live under a rock and have only just surfaced, Pippa Middleton got married yesterday. Yay. True to rumours that she did not want Meghan Markle there, Harry was on his own, at least in the morning. Apparently, Miss Markle made an appearance in the evening. Perhaps because all slim brunettes look the same after sundown.
If, indeed, the reason for not inviting Ms. Markle to the wedding was to avoid any limelight being taken away from the bride, I am afraid it did not work. But then Pips could hardly not invite her own nephew and niece to her wedding.
Yes, little George and Charlotte did to their Aunty, what their Aunty(and her clingy white dress) did to their mummy on her wedding day - they well and truly stole the limelight!
Now, I am not one to judge (as you can tell from my blog) but I got the impression that Kate would be one of those Mums who has one of those fixed 'isn't my child wonderful?' smiles on their face, even when their child is being anything but wonderful.
Turns out, she is not. There was much shushing and finger pointing, particularly in the direction of her first born, as he gleefully stood on the bride's train, which he followed with a royal tantrum, after being told off, no doubt.
Talking of childish behaviour, Harry Styles apparently is all grown up now. How do I know this? Well, in a recent interview in the Sunday Times magazine, he informed the general public that he has taken off the hat that is usually and jauntily placed on his head and thrown it in the political ring.
Now don't be alarmed. He is not joining politics, all he is doing is supporting the party that 'opposes Brexit the most'. Not sure if he is being coy and not naming the party, or he couldn't bother himself to find out which party that is.
Now, if you are a Brexiteer, you should be very, very scared. After all, Mr. Styles has the potential to garner millions of votes....... but then, 14 to 16 year olds are not allowed to vote, so perhaps not.
In the meanwhile, the Conservatives appear not to be heading for a landslide win, as their Manifesto is not very popular. So, they are still strong but not very stable.
Perhaps this is what appears to have spurred Jeremy Corbyn on, as his speeches are getting more and more animated. I recently saw him on TV, giving a speech, where he kept hopping from one foot to the other, as if Diane Abbott was lightly running a feather on the soles of his feet.
So for now, try and keep it light.....and if you can't, make sure it's worth the calories!
If, indeed, the reason for not inviting Ms. Markle to the wedding was to avoid any limelight being taken away from the bride, I am afraid it did not work. But then Pips could hardly not invite her own nephew and niece to her wedding.
Yes, little George and Charlotte did to their Aunty, what their Aunty(and her clingy white dress) did to their mummy on her wedding day - they well and truly stole the limelight!
Now, I am not one to judge (as you can tell from my blog) but I got the impression that Kate would be one of those Mums who has one of those fixed 'isn't my child wonderful?' smiles on their face, even when their child is being anything but wonderful.
Turns out, she is not. There was much shushing and finger pointing, particularly in the direction of her first born, as he gleefully stood on the bride's train, which he followed with a royal tantrum, after being told off, no doubt.
Talking of childish behaviour, Harry Styles apparently is all grown up now. How do I know this? Well, in a recent interview in the Sunday Times magazine, he informed the general public that he has taken off the hat that is usually and jauntily placed on his head and thrown it in the political ring.
Now don't be alarmed. He is not joining politics, all he is doing is supporting the party that 'opposes Brexit the most'. Not sure if he is being coy and not naming the party, or he couldn't bother himself to find out which party that is.
Now, if you are a Brexiteer, you should be very, very scared. After all, Mr. Styles has the potential to garner millions of votes....... but then, 14 to 16 year olds are not allowed to vote, so perhaps not.
In the meanwhile, the Conservatives appear not to be heading for a landslide win, as their Manifesto is not very popular. So, they are still strong but not very stable.
Perhaps this is what appears to have spurred Jeremy Corbyn on, as his speeches are getting more and more animated. I recently saw him on TV, giving a speech, where he kept hopping from one foot to the other, as if Diane Abbott was lightly running a feather on the soles of his feet.
So for now, try and keep it light.....and if you can't, make sure it's worth the calories!
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| LIGHTER NEWS |
Sunday 14 May 2017
A lighter look at the news
This week, France elected a new President. Yes, apparently not enough French people put Le Pen to Le paper to vote for La Madame Marine. So, Macron is France's President and his wife Brigitte Trogneux is France's First Lady.
Apparently, he met his wife when he took drama lessons and she was his teacher. She was 39 years old and 24 years his senior. Please do the maths and find out how old he was when he met her, (unless you are Diane Abbott, then please do us all a favour and don't do the maths).
Since it was a drama class, one wonders if perhaps she sang 'will you still need me, will you still greet me, when I'm sixty four?' (thank you Beatles) and if he answered 'oui, oui!' then, we (or rather France), may actually have a leader who keeps their promise.
Macron's name is 'Emmanuel', which means Messiah, which is so much better than having a president named after a duck. Well done France!
In the meanwhile, David Beckham played a cameo role in that posh geezer Guy Ritchie's film 'King Arthur - Legend of the Sword'. Now, the film has yet to be released to the general public, so I am not in a position to make a comment..... but when has that ever stopped me! According to the critics, Becks' performance wasn't exactly Oscar material. Most of them, rather unkindly, have suggested that he should've been cast as the stone.
I think that is grossly unfair to any of us, who as children, were cast as trees, stones, clouds or pillars. Not all of us, if given the opportunity to have our every wish come true, would give a wooden, or in this case, stony, performance.
Personally, I think David Beckham peaked in 'Bend it like Beckham' when he and Posh wafted through Heathrow airport, and he would have done well to hang his thespian boots then alongside his football ones.
I had a little scare this week. I have this habit of not looking through the peep hole before opening my front door when the doorbell rings. I saw something on the news this week to change that.
Theresa May did door to door visits, and trust me, I will be anything but strong and stable, if I actually open my front door to see her standing there. From now on, it's tippy toes, eye to the peep hole before I open it to anyone.
Mind you, I'd rather it was Theresa May and not that Liberal Democrats' chap because I probably won't recognise him and I am one of those people who hates hurting anyone's feelings.
Not a lot more to add, so until next week, try and keep it light.
Apparently, he met his wife when he took drama lessons and she was his teacher. She was 39 years old and 24 years his senior. Please do the maths and find out how old he was when he met her, (unless you are Diane Abbott, then please do us all a favour and don't do the maths).
Since it was a drama class, one wonders if perhaps she sang 'will you still need me, will you still greet me, when I'm sixty four?' (thank you Beatles) and if he answered 'oui, oui!' then, we (or rather France), may actually have a leader who keeps their promise.
Macron's name is 'Emmanuel', which means Messiah, which is so much better than having a president named after a duck. Well done France!
In the meanwhile, David Beckham played a cameo role in that posh geezer Guy Ritchie's film 'King Arthur - Legend of the Sword'. Now, the film has yet to be released to the general public, so I am not in a position to make a comment..... but when has that ever stopped me! According to the critics, Becks' performance wasn't exactly Oscar material. Most of them, rather unkindly, have suggested that he should've been cast as the stone.
I think that is grossly unfair to any of us, who as children, were cast as trees, stones, clouds or pillars. Not all of us, if given the opportunity to have our every wish come true, would give a wooden, or in this case, stony, performance.
Personally, I think David Beckham peaked in 'Bend it like Beckham' when he and Posh wafted through Heathrow airport, and he would have done well to hang his thespian boots then alongside his football ones.
I had a little scare this week. I have this habit of not looking through the peep hole before opening my front door when the doorbell rings. I saw something on the news this week to change that.
Theresa May did door to door visits, and trust me, I will be anything but strong and stable, if I actually open my front door to see her standing there. From now on, it's tippy toes, eye to the peep hole before I open it to anyone.
Mind you, I'd rather it was Theresa May and not that Liberal Democrats' chap because I probably won't recognise him and I am one of those people who hates hurting anyone's feelings.
Not a lot more to add, so until next week, try and keep it light.
 |
| LIGHTER NEWS!!! |
Saturday 6 May 2017
A lighter look at the news
Sorry that I haven't been posting 'The lighter news' for a couple of weeks (I flatter myself that some people actually read my blogs). I wasn't feeling very light and, truth be told, not feeling too light even now.
Since my last post, Theresa May has called for a snap election and typically, crackle and pop have followed. Apparently, she felt that she would be better able to negotiate Britain’s exit out of the EU if she had a strong and stable government. Nothing to do with the strong and stable lead of over 20 points the Tories are supposed to have had at the time.
Well, Theresa may or may not win and I may or may not stop making these silly may puns in this month of May and belatedly I realise you may have stopped reading this.
In my first ever post on Brexit, I remember mocking the word ‘Brexit’ - ‘it sounds like a bran remedy for constipation’ is what I wrote. At the time, I didn’t think that it could get any worse, but guess what? It just did. Yes, I give you ‘hard Brexit’.
Apparently, that is what you will get if you vote for Theresa May. And, surprise, surprise, if you want a ‘soft Brexit’, you should vote for Jeremy Corbyn. So, who on earth do people who are regular (yours truly included) vote for?
Also, if the Tories represent ‘hard Brexit’ and Labour represent ‘soft Brexit’ does that make UKIP ‘bunged up Brexit’ and the Lib Dems ‘runny Brexit’? I do apologise for getting carried away but blame it on the person who came up with the word Brexit in the first place.
In the meanwhile, guess who has decided to cash in and is bracing himself (he will need much bracing) for a comeback in an attempt to start an anti-Brexit movement. None other than Tony Blair.
The man is never short for words, so I won’t bother with most of what he said except that according to him, he is motivated, passionate and wants to reconnect with the people. He also says that he knows that he will get a bucket of wotsit poured all over him when he sticks his head out the door.
Awww, bless him for being so optimistic, using words like ‘reconnect’ and anticipating just one bucket of wotsit being poured over him. Well Mr. Blair, I suggest that, in preparation of the gallons of wotsits that will be poured over you, you wear a heavy duty Mac (Nicola Sturgeon could recommend a good one I am sure) before you poke your head out of the woodwork...oops, I mean door.
Talking of Ms.Sturgeon, on a visit to a Pre-school in Aberdeenshire,she said that only the SNP could stop Theresa May from having a free hand to do whatever she wants to do.
’We have got to make sure that there is a check on the Tories and that there is a strong opposition and strong voices for Scotland’. I am sure those 3 and 4 year olds were reverted. Whatever happened to ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ or, before Ms. Sturgeon doest protest that it is too English, ‘Katie Morag’?’
In the meanwhile, the Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott was interviewed by Nick Ferrari on LBC Radio about proposed Police funding for 10,000 extra Police Officers and proceeded to make a right royal pig’s ear of it.
She has this rather distracting habit of rolling her eyeballs towards the ceiling (or the sky if outdoors) contemplatively, before and intermittently while, answering questions.
Since this was radio, I can only imagine that she did her upward gaze but as there was nothing to contemplate, since she didn’t have the answer, she desperately plucked one from thin air, coming up with the ridiculous sum of £300,000, thereby rewarding our potential, hardworking Police Officers the grand annual sum of £30 a year.
Making another attempt at plucking from thin air, she then came up with £80 million. Once again, coming up with a slightly better, if still ridiculous, sum of £8,000 a year.
But that wasn’t the most shocking or hysterical part for me. I read this in a newspaper article (before listening to it online) which also proceeded to say that Jeremy Corbyn defended his former lover!
This made me do a Diane Abbott, my eyeballs, preceded by my eyebrows, shot upwards, but not contemplatively - I wouldn’t do that to my imagination.
Finally, while on a sad and reflective walk with a friend, this creature, for a brief second, brought some respite. Let me introduce you to the Robert de Niro of the bovine world!
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| "Are you lookin' at me?" |
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