Weekly news - rave or rant?
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I'm afraid no matter how much I try to hear Ye, he doesn't make any sense at all.
During his recent visit to the Oval Office, he said something to the effect that he feels like superman when he dons on his 'Make America grate again' (sorry for the typo) cap.
I thought it was meant to be a cape but who am I to argue with God.
Jokes aside, I thought it would take an act of God to make Donald Trump realise what it feels like to be at the receiving end of verbal diarrhoea and Kanye did just that.
So, I thank Ye but remember tomorrow is Sunday - your day of rest (and respite for the rest of the world).
I put on the news just in time to hear Melania Trump in an interview claim to be 'the most bullied person on the world'.
That didn't surprise me. In fact I had this mental image of her running away from her husband and sitting on top of the world to get away from him.
Sadly not. She was talking about cyber bullying. I am sure all those miserable, lonely teenage victims of cyber bullying are feeling so affiliated with the First Lady.
Awwww dee dums. Poor Melania. Actually, I am a bit chilly as I have been sitting down for quite awhile, so excuse me for a minute while I put on my jacket.
If you have been reading my blog for a while (thank you), you may remember that I suggested that Theresa May should invite Taylor Swift over to 10 Downing Street.
I suggested that Tay May and Tay Tay sharing afternoon tea would be good for her image.
Instead, she called for an election, lost her majority and ended up with that handsome DUP woman as a partner.
Never mind, I don't hold a grudge, so I will offer my advice again. Only this time, instead of afternoon tea, I suggest a dance mash up between Tay May and Tay Tay.
They both appear to have scarily similar dance moves and the world could do with some levity at the moment.
Who better that Britain's Dancing Queen and America's Pop Princess to provide it?
Taylor Swift Dancing to Cruise at CMT Awards
Theresa May dances on to the stage at the Tory party conference
Until next week, try and keep it light!
Kanye West decided to do his bit for gun control. Like his alter ego, Jesus Christ, he decided to embrace humility and claim to have a 'hero' (other than Donald Trump).
To this end, he tweeted a picture of Emma Gonzalez with the caption: 'My hero, Emma Gonzalez'.
He must've been so overcome with his grand gesture as he waited in anticipation, for an effusive and gushing thank you of simpering disbelief. He waited in vain.
Cue, grand gesture number two. Mr. West shaved his head to emulate his hero's shaved look. He tweeted a pic of himself in all his shiny pate glory, with the caption,'inspired by Emma'.
This time there was a response - Ms Gonzalez tweeted a similar 'My hero' captioned picture.
Alas! The pic was not of Kanye. It was, deservedly, of James Shaw Jr. the man who tackled and disarmed the suspected mass shooter in the Waffle House Restaurant in Tennessee, with his little daughter.
Awww, nothing worse than unrequited hero worship. Never mind Kanye, I am sure you and your bruised ego will bounce right back, after you have dipped into that dragon energy you share with your 'brother' Donald.
Amber turned to red and the Cabinet is now Rudderless. I apologise, I can't help myself sometimes.
Sajid Javid has replaced Amber Rudd as Britain's Home Secretary. Sadiq Khan of course is London's Mayor. The two have similar sounding first names, similar Asian backgrounds and are close in age. Something tells me, they may well become the Ant and Dec of politics.
Bruno rocked up to the start of Dancing with the Stars wearing a come hither look and an outfit that can only be described as mutton dressed as baby zebra. Oh dear! Someone give the man a cloak.
In the meanwhile Germaine Greer appeared on ITV's 'This Morning,' dressed age appropriately, in other words, mutton dressed as mutton.
She managed to annoy a lot of people with her opinion on the upcoming Royal Wedding. She said and I quote, 'I don't want to be the wicked witch. If I say that I think she will bolt, I'm probably saying I hope she will bolt.'
If you are not intellectually predicting it but emotionally willing it, that by definition makes you a wicked witch GG.
Also, she appears to be turning her coat on the Sisterhood, claiming that the #metoo and timesup movements are filled with whingeing band wagon jumpers.
I am sure that is true of some women (as there will always be, regardless of gender) but to tar everyone with the same brush is ridiculous and highly insensitive.
To add insult to horrible injury, she holds the men who have been at the receiving end of sexual harassment, up as shining examples of non advantage takers.
What rock was she residing under when Cliff Richard was falsely accused by a man?
I wonder what item of clothing she'll chose to burn this time, to show her support for men - her Granny knickers perhaps? Mind you, they might serve as a blanket and put the fire out instead.
Until next week, try and keep it light.
