Weekly news - rave or rant?
Oh dear! It appears that Donald Trump is more unpredictable in victory than he is in defeat. In defeat, he usually shouts 'fake news, fake news', until he convinces himself that it is, indeed, fake news.
He then takes a breadth and continues shouting 'fake news' until he convinces himself, that he has convinced everybody else, that it is fake news.
He then moves on, usually to the next tweet.
That reaction is not a surprise to anyone. We all know that it would take an act of God (the real one, not Ye) for Trump to be gracious in defeat. But it appears, he can't bring himself to be gracious in victory either.
Recently, when the Judge dismissed the defamation case against him, brought by Stormy Daniels, he proceeded to call her 'horseface'.
It appears Ms Daniels is Stormy by name and Stormy by nature because she promptly retaliated by calling him 'Tiny'. Since we all know that she wasn't referring to his girth, that remark must have cut to the bone.
Something tells me, Mr Trump must regret the animal he chose to draw an analogy to Ms Daniels' face. Horses, as we all know, are anything but 'tiny'.
Talking of which, Piers Morgan decided to mock Daniel Craig (Mr Bond himself) for carrying his baby daughter in a papoose.
'Emasculated' is how Piers Morgan put it. Well, he got pie shoved in his face for that remark. Thank you Harry Hill.
All I will say is, Daniel Craig could carry his baby in a papoose, stop at a local 'Mother and Toddlers' group, feed his daughter through a man boob feeding bottle, while wearing a skirt and tights, and still look more masculine that Piers Morgan.
At least we now know how and why Piers Morgan is pals with the equally masculine Oompa Loompa across the pond.
Until next week, try and keep it light!
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I'm afraid no matter how much I try to hear Ye, he doesn't make any sense at all.
During his recent visit to the Oval Office, he said something to the effect that he feels like superman when he dons on his 'Make America grate again' (sorry for the typo) cap.
I thought it was meant to be a cape but who am I to argue with God.
Jokes aside, I thought it would take an act of God to make Donald Trump realise what it feels like to be at the receiving end of verbal diarrhoea and Kanye did just that.
So, I thank Ye but remember tomorrow is Sunday - your day of rest (and respite for the rest of the world).
I put on the news just in time to hear Melania Trump in an interview claim to be 'the most bullied person on the world'.
That didn't surprise me. In fact I had this mental image of her running away from her husband and sitting on top of the world to get away from him.
Sadly not. She was talking about cyber bullying. I am sure all those miserable, lonely teenage victims of cyber bullying are feeling so affiliated with the First Lady.
Awwww dee dums. Poor Melania. Actually, I am a bit chilly as I have been sitting down for quite awhile, so excuse me for a minute while I put on my jacket.
If you have been reading my blog for a while (thank you), you may remember that I suggested that Theresa May should invite Taylor Swift over to 10 Downing Street.
I suggested that Tay May and Tay Tay sharing afternoon tea would be good for her image.
Instead, she called for an election, lost her majority and ended up with that handsome DUP woman as a partner.
Never mind, I don't hold a grudge, so I will offer my advice again. Only this time, instead of afternoon tea, I suggest a dance mash up between Tay May and Tay Tay.
They both appear to have scarily similar dance moves and the world could do with some levity at the moment.
Who better that Britain's Dancing Queen and America's Pop Princess to provide it?
Taylor Swift Dancing to Cruise at CMT Awards
Theresa May dances on to the stage at the Tory party conference
Until next week, try and keep it light!
Theresa May seems to have developed a rather close relationship with her alter ego, Tay May.
She and Tay May had a blast in Africa, busting some dance moves hitherto not witnessed by anyone, other than the African ants that appeared to be inhabiting her pants.
Undeterred by all the hilarity that accompanied her foray into the political dance world, Mrs. May bravely invited her alter ego to the Conservative Party Conference this week.
For some reason, the backing dancers (the ants) were not invited, so Tay May gave a less robotic, much more confident, enthusiastic boogie, to Abba's Dancing Queen - no less cringey though.
I rewound the six o'clock news three times and each time I fell about on the sofa, laughing like a three year old being entertained by a clown.
After I managed to compose myself, I will confess that I was a tad concerned. I wondered if the pressure of Brexit had gotten to Mrs May and if she was doing her version of re-enacting Nero and his fiddle.
Apparently not. It appears that she was just being self-deprecatingly light hearted about her dancing. Aawwwwww!
I have a sneaky suspicion (ahem) that she is reading my blog. If Tay May accompanies Theresa May to her next Brexit talks and starts twerking........all I will say (to Messrs Juncker, Tusk, Barnier and the Nation) is 'you are most welcome'.
Although, one can only hope that the proceedings are private and that there is no opportunity for filming.
After all, we may want the best deal for Britain but no one has to be visually scarred in the process!
Talking of alter egos, Kanye West and his alter ego - otherwise known as 'God', are back in the news.
Kanye claims that he is off his Meds and is feeling great. Apparently, he is breathing fresh air, thinking, doing and being himself.
Reassuringly, he says, 'when I say I'm being myself, that doesn't mean I'm being Donald Trump. It means I'm being me "cause I am God" (and just like that, the reassurance evaporates).
Well, all I can say to that is thank God he is not under the illusion that he is Donald Trump (one Donald Trump in the World, is one too many) or some might say, 'thank Ye God'.
Until next time, try and keep it light!
