A lighter look at Covidiots

As the novel virus unrelentingly carries on with its World Tour, hopping from continent to continent and country to country, how it is referred to, appears to have changed.

From cheery, beery 'Corona' to butch, James Bond-type 'Covid-19'. 'My name is Covid...... Covid 19' it said, tweaking a spike and moving with effortless confidence.

And now to bring back my favourite word - Alas! Some people have gone from being coronasses to covidiots - different name, same behaviour.

It's bad enough when regular people (loosely speaking, judging from the pic of the chap below) display covidiotic behaviour, but it is quite disturbing when it comes to people who are meant to lead by example because they are responsible (and should be answerable) to the people who put them in their position of power.

First, to start with this upstanding regular Joe.

Steven Mackie turned up at a Tesco's store, flouting the 2 metre distance regulation by deliberately getting up close (not sure if he got personal as well) to the people queuing up outside.

The Police came and took him home. But, 15 minutes later, Mackie moron returned, proclaiming, 'I can do whatever I want'. Turns out he couldn't, as this time he was arrested.

His lawyer must have a sense of humour (or irony) as he, Mackie moron, was the only one who turned up to Court sporting a face mask.

His lawyer also argued that he shouldn't be given a hefty fine as he was unemployed (bet that surprised you). Well, he was fined, not sure how much, but hopefully that's his cigarette money gone.

Don't know if he smokes but .... hold on a minute as I throw on my favourite jacket.

Now, moving on to the people who are meant to Govern responsibly, starting with the President of Belarus, Alexander something or the other.

His answer to avoiding coronavirus is, vodka and sauna. Yes, while the rest of the world is social distancing and self-isolating, Belarus, at the behest of its President, is on an all-inclusive holiday.

Football and Ice hockey matches have carried on regardless, with Alexander not-so-great himself playing in an ice hockey match.

The above picture was taken at one such football match. I can't help being amused at the sight of that one lone woman in the centre with a face mask.

Going by the looks of the gentlemen surrounding her, one would think she would have opted for an eye mask instead.

Anyway, what can you say when Mr President asks, 'Do you see them (coronas) flying around? I don't see them too.There are no viruses here. This is like a fridge'.

Begs the question, just how much of vodka was in the fridge and did he consume it all. 

Apparently, at least 94 cases of coronavirus infections have been reported in Belarus, so obviously there are some of them flying around in the fridge.

Moving from a President to a Prime Minister. 

Mr Modi, India's PM, decided to react dramatically to coronavirus and order a 14 hour curfew, followed by a lock down, without much forewarning or planning.

At the very beginning, I (and millions of others I'm sure) anticipated what was going to ensue.

https://to-rave-or-to-rant.blogspot.com/2020/03/a-look-at-news.html

So, if someone of average intelligence (I know, I flatter myself) could see it coming, why couldn't the Indian Government?

Some might say, scant thought or callous indifference towards daily wage earners and the impoverished. 

Personally, I don't know what to say. I am at a loss for words when I see hoards of migrant workers rubbing shoulders, as they head back to their villages, for fear of starving if they remain in the cities.

Well done Mr. Modi. You've managed to achieve the exact opposite of social distancing, where a large part of your population is concerned. 

And finally to President Trump, who has changed his mind (and the rattling two brain cells in it) so many times, most weather vanes  are considering retiring.

I don't know, if like President Alexander not-so-great, he too thinks that coronas fly around but I am fed up of seeing him try out his bully boy tactics on the virus.

First, he tried to wish it away, like a miracle - from 15 to 0, he predicted. He was right in a way, except, sadly, it was more than one zero and on the wrong side of the number 1.

Then he decided to give it his own special name - Chinese virus. So much easier to bully a virus with a familiar sounding name. But that did not work either.

Watching his press briefings, you knew that things weren't going smoothly, when he got even the director of the National Institute of  Allergy and Infectious diseases, Dr Fauci, behaving like a forehead slapping emoji.

On 24th March, with the petulance of a restless five year old, he recklessly suggested that he would love to have the Country opened up and just raring to go by Easter.

Mercifully, he has now conceded that it will possibly be towards the end of April, after it has hit its peak. 

And on the assumption that everyone watching is a similar covidiot, he raises his little hand and draws a peak in the air.

Up and down, just like his rhetoric.

Until next time, stay safe.

Links to previous related blogs (if you missed them):

https://to-rave-or-to-rant.blogspot.com/2020/03/coronacorona.html

https://to-rave-or-to-rant.blogspot.com/2020/03/a-lighter-look-at-news.html

A look at India's response to Coronavirus

India's Prime Minister, Narendra Modi has asked the country to ring bells at 5 0'clock to show appreciation for all the work done during this testing time, particularly by medics, nurses and other health workers.

There are some though, who suspect that there is another reason - pardon my ignorance but I think it has to do with the vibration of ringing bells at this particular time being good for the body's blood circulation.

Very laudable - whether you believe in it or not, everything is worth a try.

However, I did have a thought (I do have those from time to time).
What about the thousands, if not millions, of daily wage earners. Has any provision been made to feed them, during this social distancing time?

Will something be done to help these vulnerable people or will Modi be a modern day Nero and ring his bell while a good portion of his country starve.

Until next time, stay safe.

A lighter look at the news

I feel like a right cow at the moment. And it's not even my fault - it's Boris Johnson's fault. He and his 'herd immunity'. I am convinced that he (with his unruly blond mane), thinks he is the Lion King.

Simba and the Chief Medical Officer (aka Rafiki) are convinced that if we carry on as normal, enough of the population will get infected, recover and gain immunity, thereby protecting the whole herd and thumbing our noses (which we will be able to do without the need for hand sanitizer) at Corona.

In my lifetime, I have been visited by viruses of all sorts, Influenza being quite the frequent flyer. So, pardon me if I am a little baffled.

We were told that Coronavirus was indeed quite similar to Influenza and I have played hostess to influenza on many occasions, so who's to say that the same is not true of Corona? No one - that's who. Because Corona is the new kid on the block. No one knows. Not even Rafiki.

I am now going to dig out my drums and beat out a message to Simba....Naaaaants ingonyamaaaaaaa bagithi babaaaaaa 🎵

I have only just discovered that I was wrong to assume that Boris Johnson has aspirations to be the Lion King. Apparently, he has aspirations to be Churchill. Ohhhh yes!

In the meanwhile, across the vast waterhole, Simba's good friend, President Orange-a-tan's behaviour and reaction to the virus was erratic, to say the least.

He first said that the whole thing was a democratic hoax. Then, using his doctorate in virology (being the modest sort, he has kept that under his fetching toupee), he assured people that Corona was like my friend Influenza - he even called it Coronaflu. 

He went on to urge people to go to work as normal, even if they had a slight fever or a cough.   

Then, he had a sudden change of heart (or maybe it was his kidney) and he stopped all travel from Europe to the US, except from the UK and Ireland.

The UK appears to be his favourite (like Ivanka). But now he's stopped travel from Ireland and the UK as well - so we are not such favourites after all.

Amazing how the whole globe is at the mercy of this germ that cannot even be seen by the naked eye - or even a bespectacled one. (I know I made the same joke last week, but humour me, there isn't that much to make light about).

I, for one, am going to Keep Calm and look forward to the day I can say 'I'll have a Corona' and watch a cold one being poured in a glass with a lemon wedge on the side.

Until then, let's try and keep it light.









  

Once upon a time on Planet Earth....

Once upon a time there was a planet called Earth. And on this planet called Earth, there lived many, many creatures. But the creatures that walked upright on two limbs, known as legs, considered themselves the owners of the planet called Earth, on account of them possessing a brain that they considered superior.

These creatures with superior brains called themselves human beings and sometimes they were collectively known as mankind, which was silly because there were women and there were gender fluid human beings as well. And besides, they were not always kind.

They used their superior brains to invent and discover many helpful things, like fire and something round, known as the wheel. Unfortunately, they also invented something called money (those who were too lazy to use two-syllable words called it cash). This invention sometimes made them not so kind.

They were especially not so kind to their planet called Earth and committed a crime called pollution, against their planet. This crime called pollution, made such a big hole in a layer of air that used to be called Zone, that it is now called Ozone.

A young girl called Miss Thunberg, from a place on planet Earth called Sweden, is very cross with mankind (and women and gender fluid humans) and she is trying to save planet Earth but this has made some old men (one named after a type of food called Meat Loaf and another named after a duck called Donald) even more unkind.

But the Swedish girl is too cross to care. The crime called pollution is causing the planet called Earth to get warm and this warmness is causing her distant relatives, the Icebergs, to thaw. 

Everyone, including some very clever humans called scientists,  agree with her, that it is not fair.

The clever humans called Scientists, have saved humans from many diseases. They have spaces called laboratories, where they use their superior brains, to find cures for human diseases.

Sadly, for humans and especially for human scientists,  there are also things called viruses, which cannot be seen by the naked eye (or even a bespectacled one). These things called viruses, also have virus scientists, who work in virus laboratories which cannot be seen by the naked eye (or even a bespectacled one).

The viruses have a mission to stop humans from thinking they are the whiskers of cats. So, the worker viruses are made  stronger through the research of the clever virus scientists. Sometimes they use pigs, sometimes birds and sometimes they infect humans directly.

The most recent portion that made the worker viruses stronger, was discovered by a clever virus scientist called Covid, a 19 year old prodigy virus.

The worker viruses decided not to call themselves Covid-19 because it sounded too scary. They knew from experience that the best way to get to the humans is to lull them into what is known as false security.

They decided to think of something that most humans liked, all across planet Earth. They unanimously came up with the answer - beer. To honour their scientist Covid, they looked for a beer that began with the letter 'C'.

They first thought of Carlsberg, but there was a chance that Carlsberg could be related to that nice Swedish girl and seeing that she was already upset about the Icebergs, they decided to look for another name.

Finally, they settled on Corona. All the worker viruses took the name Corona and pledged to travel all across planet Earth on their mission to cause chaos and misery.

They appear to be succeeding. When they have a spare moment, the Coronas send each other messages that go viral. The funniest is the fact that even though they do not cause human tummies to be upset, the humans are running out of toilet paper.

If this carries on, the humans  are going to need more paper, which means they are going to need more trees, which means they should not have cut down so many trees, which means they (particularly those old men) should have listened to that lovely (though very cross) Swedish girl. 

Until next time, try and keep it light.... except when washing your hands.