Weekly news - rave or rant?

Saturday 20 April 2019

A look at the News




While the world watched with dismay as the Notre Dame Cathederal in Paris burned, the Rhodes Scholar that is Donald Trump, decided to give this unsolicited advice by way of a tweet (of course).
"So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out. Must act quickly!"
10:39 AM - 15 Apr 2019


Needless to say, the French experts were appalled. 'Non, non', they cried, 'ze whole structure could be destroyed if we follow zis crappy advice.' (As you may have guessed, I've taken the liberty to paraphrase).

Melania Trump however tweeted,

"My heart breaks for the people of Paris after seeing the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral. Praying for everyone’s safety,"

A perfectly sensible and sensitive tweet. Makes one wonder what on earth attracted her to her billionaire husband.

For someone who can't tell his origins from is oranges
(ref.the link below), it's rich that he chose to tell experts how to do their job.

https://youtu.be/qUPsNgmXR7M

After viewing this, all I would say is,

'So horrible to watch the orange ball of hot air speak. Perhaps elocution lessons, or better still, duck tape to shut it up. Must act quickly!'

If you are a Game of Thrones fan, and you are enjoying the final season of GOT, here is a very special gift for you from the man himself (yes, he really is the gift that keeps on giving).

In this case of course it is a different sort of GOT show- Gall of Trump.






Hope you have an Easter filled with Joy and Peace. I won't tell you to try and keep it light, not with all that chocolate around!


























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Saturday 13 April 2019

Light observations

Having recently flown abroad, I noticed a phenomenon that had previously passed me by. Most passengers are now sporting an almost must-have accessory. 

As a result, you see lots of passengers walking around in the airport with glorified, cushioned toilet seats around their necks.

Now, I understand vertically challenged people needing to support their necks. After all, their necks (mine included) are expected to rest on the part of the seat that is designed for the backs of their taller counterparts.

I was, however, baffled to see tall people walking around with neck cushions as well. Who invited you to the party? I wondered. Then it dawned on me.

The reason is obvious - tall people need support to prevent their heads from lolling forward and bashing their chins on their knees. What with the limited leg room available. Dee-dums... bless their size 14 cotton socks.

Another thing I noticed, is a rather devil- may- care attitude towards sun exposure.

We were on a chartered flight to Goa and on our return flight, it was quite obvious that most had worshipped the hell out of the sun and had discovered a new colour in the process.

While I would not have been surprised with a Donald Trump shade of orange, I saw a tan that can only be described as a shade between beet red and burnt toast. 

Lest you think that the above mentioned President (and his ridiculous belief that global warming and damage to the ozone layer is a myth), has led to this reckless behaviour, let me put your mind at rest.

I overheard more than one person lament that they had fallen asleep due to the heady (and rather lethal) combination of Kingfisher beer and Feni.

Well, no pleasure without pain I guess and at least a good time was had by all.

Brexit, despite sounding like a remedy for constipation, has been practically motionless. The deadline has come and gone, leaving behind at least one casualty - poor old Theresa May.

She started by busting moves to 'Dancing Queen', then had to bend backward to 'Limbo Rock' and all that bending (in limbo) appears to have resulted in her somewhat resembling a hen.


Which makes me think of the story 'The Little Red Hen', where the hen asks for help with various tasks but the farmyard animals refuse and she says, 'then I'll do it myself'. 

Turns out, like the Red Hen, Mrs. May met with refusal from her farmyard animals...oops sorry, colleagues (easy mistake to make, considering all the braying that goes on in Parliament).

Unlike the Red Hen, our Blue Hen could not do it herself. Instead of a reward, all she managed was a new deadline - an extension to Halloween.

Brace yourselves for a scary Halloween. I envision Tay May in full black regalia, complete with wide brimmed hat, jumping on her broomstick, flying to Brussels to save the day.

Stranger things have happened....wooooohoooo........

Until next time, try and keep it light.