Weekly news - rave or rant?

Sunday 10 February 2019

A lighter look at the news

The Duke of Edinburgh has surrendered his driving licence. This of course follows two incidents, the first of which was when he jumped a junction and collided with another car. 

Apparently, the sun was lying low and waiting to get him in the eye.

The other incident was a couple of weeks after the above accident, when he was seen driving without a seat belt. To be fair, this may have been the result of age-related forgetfulness rather than macho recklessness.

According to Buckingham Palace, his decision was reached after careful consideration and intense reflection. The reason for all this consideration and reflection apparently is that the Duke will solely miss the independence, possessing a driver's licence affords him.

Poor man, I do feel for him. One does feel the loss of independence when one has to lift one's finger to press a bell to summon one's chauffeur.  How very inconvenient for one.

Paul Hollywood's relationship with his 23 year old girlfriend Summer, seems to be getting quite serious. How serious? you might ask. About £845,000/- serious.  That is the amount he's paid to buy a house in Kent for them.

Summer must be delighted with her 53 year old boyfriend, Cake Cake. Don't blink, blink, that is indeed what she calls him.

Why, why?  Possibly because he is over twice her age, she wants to make sure that he hears her the first time. But that could just be me being cynical.

It is quite possible that she wants to express double the affection. In which case, what does Britain's top blue-eyed baker call his ex-barmaid girlfriend - Pint Pint?

Now this may just be rumours but Liam Payne is apparently having some sort of flirtation with Naomi Campbell.

I read somewhere that they are being called 'Laomi'. Sorry, some name combinations work and some don't. This one doesn't.

It sounds like lemon scented foam one might use in a bath.

I do have to wonder how Liam's ex, Cheryl whatever- her- surname- is- at- the- moment, feels about it. He is after all, her baby Bear's father.

God knows Naomi Campbell looks like she can take care of herself, nevertheless, a word of caution - try not to find yourself alone in a ladies' cloakroom with Mama Bear.....

Until next time, try and keep it light!