A lighter look at this week's news

At some point in our lives, most of us have been stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, this week where the 'Lighter news' is concerned, I find myself stuck between a marshmallow and a soft place.

To explain, I am undecided whether to start with Cheryl (not sure what surname she goes by these days) and Pippa Middleton. Well, I'll start with Pippa. She of the clingy white dress fame, is set to get married and apparently she does not want her wedding to turn into a three ring circus.

Now what (or who)you might ask could possibly turn her wedding into a three ring circus? Well, Pips is convinced it could be Megan Markel, Prince Harry's girlfriend. Apparently (according to the radio presenters I was listening to on the way to work) she does not want Megan to be Harry's +1 at her wedding. Poor Harry, bad enough he had to get cross with the Media, he now has the uncomfortable task of getting cross with his bro's in-laws. 

I personally think Pippa is worried that Ms Markel will do to her what she and her derriere did to big sis Kate at her wedding - steal the limelight. Too bad Pippa, it's something that happens to all of us and it goes by the name of Karma.

As you may or may not know, Cheryl (of the clan Tweedy) is ready to drop her baby any day now. Her boyfriend, (I am pausing to google his name) Liam Payne 'playfully' said that he had been tip-toeing around the house.  This gave rise to rumours, as their fans (perhaps not the sharpest of knives in the drawer) thought it was a clue that the baby had arrived. Oh Liam, what a tease!

Their un-Royal highness-es let the people know through their lawyers, that 'after a period of time, after they have left hospital, they will make an official announcement'. I am guessing the 'period to time' is set aside for the highest bidder (magazine) to take pictures to sell to the public. That's just me being cynical...and realistic.

Oh dear! Nicola Sturgeon is at it again. Not for the first time, good old Nics has got her knicks in a twist. Like a Jack-in-the-box with a wayward lid, she keeps popping up at the most inconvenient and unexpected times, startlingly everyone around her, not least poor Mrs. May. Just like the aforementioned J-in- the-box, she springs up and down, repeating the same old tired refrain, time and time again.'Independence for Scotland!'

Apparently the referendum for Scotland's independence that was supposed to last a lifetime/generation, has lasted 3 years. Now, I am no heavyweight political observer. Judging by my blog, I am not even a lightweight political observer.  I am in fact a 'Light-er-weight' political observer and as such I am going to take light-er liberties as I observe this bit of news.

In September, 2014, Scotland voted 'No' to independence by 55% of the votes. Yes, Scotland convincingly voted 'Scremain! The choice to not Scexit 3 years ago was supposed to last a lifetime. So what has changed?

Apparently, the EU referendum. Scotland voted to overwhelmingly stay in the EU. That is what has got Ms Sturgeon all strident and vocal about the welfare of Scotland. I am a bit baffled because from what I can gather, she wants to take Scotland out of a smaller Union (the UK) to join a bigger Union (the EU - not particularly welcoming at that). So, in essence, Ms Sturgeon wants Scotland to be a teeny tiny fish in a huge pond, as compared to being a medium sized fish in a small(ish) pond....... Go figure!

Now, this is something that breaks my heart. Another young woman raped and killed in Goa. Danielle McLauglin from Liverpool and County Donegal was visiting Goa, not for the first time.  The fact that she was revisiting Goa, leads me to believe that she had a positive experience the first time round and wanted to recapture it. Poor girl. Some monster by the name of Vikat Bhagwat (not a Goan name that I recognise) raped and strangled her. 

Miss McLauglin was 28 years old, only a few years older than my own daughters and if any country/state advertised themselves as being a safe 'paradise', I would expect that they would follow through. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and I think all we can do now  is pray  for Danielle and her family. May she rest in peace and her family find some solace in lawful, proper and fair Justice. That is the least that Goa owes her.


To end, you know if you are Christian, you spend most of your life listening to people mock and make fun of your beliefs, safe in the knowledge that there will be no repercussions? You sit there thinking, 'you would not be saying that if I belonged to another religious denomination'. I know because I have experienced it many times.

Well, no more! A man who indulged in  horrible online anti Christian posts (I know his name but will not say it to avoid giving him the  oxygen of publicity) apparently has incurred the wrath of the Christian Church. The Judicial system has decreed that this man is here forth and herewith banned from entering any Church in the United Kingdom.

Imagine that! A man posting anti Christian stuff banned from entering any church in the UK! He must be gutted.... oh well baby steps in the right direction I guess.

Until next week...

A lighter look at this week’s news

This week, I am going to start with a piece of news that is so light, it is positively frothy! Apparently, a few days back, Louis Tomlinson (of One Direction in case you’re asking yourself ‘who?’, I’ve just saved you a google search) was arrested for assault.

Now, if you care enough to jump to conclusions, let me say that it wasn’t a Bieber like attack, the reason here was quite noble. He was squabbling with some paparazzi (shades of Bieber I agree) when three girls took this opportunity to attack his girlfriend. Not sure why, perhaps between the two and a half brain cells they shared between them, they thought they could replace her and he wouldn’t notice.

LT rushed heroically to his girlfriend’s rescue and in the process elbowed one of the girls (the one with the half brain cell) in the eye. Filled with indignation, she immediately turned judge, jury, victim and prosecutor all in one, as she proclaimed, ‘he hit me, he is going to jail.’ Yes love and you’re going to get an invitation to join MENSA.

Not sure if the next piece of news is trumped up or not but Donald Trump has claimed that Obama has tapped his tower. Not literally of course, he claims that Obama had the phones in Trump Tower tapped.

I think he tweeted these accusations. He does use three parts of his body to communicate - his mouth (to converse), his thumbs (to tweet) and his hands (to make small talk).

There’s some good news for Londoners. They can apparently look forward to a very peaceful existence in the very near future. The reason? A Shaman is set to change London into the Pollyanna capital of the world. What is a Shaman I hear you ask. Not for the first time, I will save you a google search. A Shaman is a person who has access to good and evil spirits.

Now, this man is not any Shaman, he is Gwyneth Paltrow’s Shaman. He claims that Londoners drown out their emotions with alcohol and cigarettes. I can understand drowning in alcohol but I would imagine experiencing a whole lot of burns from cigarette drowning but then again who am I to argue with a Shaman.

According to him, he realised that he had special talents at a very young age because he could talk to trees and flowers.Now, I am trying very hard to hide it but this does fill me with much excitement. You see, I think I can talk to trees and flowers.

In fact, I can go one better. I am pretty darn sure yesterday as I passed by some daffodils, they nodded at me. I nodded back and it was a very special moment. The daffs could’ve been assisted by the wind of course but why would I let the truth get in the way of an amazing story.

Apparently, when Gwynnie invited him, he assumed it was for an interview for her health website (gobble di goo or something like that). Turns out, it was just for a chat. Awwwww.  According to one or the other (or perhaps both) they are now like brother and sister.

The one thing I’ll give the Shaman, he is 42 years old but you could easily reverse those numbers and not doubt his age. Perhaps big sis Gwyneth

whips up her £275/- smoothies for him when they hang out.

So, all you Londoners, your days of cynicism, guzzling booze and puffing non stop at cigarettes are numbered. You are soon to be shiny, happy people. Isn’t that a terrifying thought?

Rant of the week

I honestly despair at this but some young, unmarried couples in Kerala, India were beaten up by right wing nationalists, while the police watched or turned a blind eye. Previously, similar right wing nationalists attacked couples celebrating Valentine’s day.

Thank goodness in this case, the seven Policemen have been punished  and I hope this is a lesson to the rest of the narrow minded hypocrites who claim “flaunting their relationships is totally contrary to Indian culture”.

First of all, Indian culture is so diverse that saying something so all encompassing doesn’t even make sense. Second of all,that’s rich coming from the land that gave the world the Kamasutra.

Rave of the week

At last Katie Hopkins our modern day Pinocchio, has got her comeuppance. I could go into details but all I will say is that she is going to be paying through her prominent nose, damages of £24,000/- to food blogger Jack Monroe, plus substantial  legal costs.

Perhaps this will stop her vitriol or perhaps not. Addiction to attention seeking at all costs without a second thought to collateral damage, is a hard habit to break.

Until next week ……..

A lighter look at this week’s news

I couldn’t have asked for a better start to my decision to comment on the week gone by, when first thing on Monday morning, I heard that the Oscar was given to the wrong film! Thank you Oscars for giving me something to chuckle about on a Monday morning. Makes the embarrassing mistakes we mere mortals commit seem trivial by comparison.

Apparently, the egos of Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway squabbled backstage as to who should read out the winning film. Mr. Beatty and his ego won, something I am sure he wished to God had not happened as he hummed and hawed over the winner. Then, with the whole world watching, he decided to take Ms. Dunaway down with him.

Appearing to be lost in La La Land herself, she declared La La Land the winner. All the La La Landers trouped joyously to the stage but midway through a speech, defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory.They hadn't la la landed the Oscar for best film after all.

Moonlight was declared the rightful winner and the rest is history which will be repeated again and again on you tube and ‘most embarrassing moment’ programmes.

Mercifully, no trumped up news to comment on this week. Donald Trump’s speech to Congress wasn’t a piece of fiction unlike some of his previous speeches and the proof of this is that he actually spoke about the terrorist attacks in Belgium, France and Germany without adding Sweden to the list. Well done Mr Trump.

On this side of the pond, the Labour Party managed to lose a seat that they held for 80 years.  When will their leader Jeremy Corbyn wake up and smell the coffee? He most likely drinks green tea, so the answer is probably never.

I suggest he boards a half empty Virgin train, plonks himself on the floor, whips off his rose tinted glasses and ponders on the future of the Labour Party. Just don’t treat it as a photo op  this time Mr C.

On a personal note, nothing to rave or rant about; do you have something to rave or rant about this past week? Or a lighter twist to a news story?