Weekly news - rave or rant?
Now you may or may not have heard the story where Keith Richards claimed that he had snorted his father's ashes. Feel free to snort in disbelief. I know I did when I first heard it. He quite possibly snorted something a hell of a lot stronger and hallucinated
that it was good old dad's ashes.
He has since said that it was a joke. Missed his calling as a stand up comedian no doubt.
Anyway, here is another 'snorting' story. Liam Gallagher has said that at a Glastonbury festival in 1994, some of his fans mistook the dandruff on his head (he says that he suffers from psoriasis, so there was plenty there) for cocaine and picked it off his head and snorted it or rubbed it on their gums. I apologise if relating this has caused you to retch.
Those fans should be grateful it wasn't cocaine - it would've killed those two brain cells I am generous enough to assume they had.
In the meanwhile Theresa May tottered off on wobbly legs for her Brexit talks. No, she wasn't wobbly on account of 6 inch Louboutins but her self inflicted swapping of adjectives from stable to wobbly. Apparently she and David Davis are still backing a hard Brexit. I suggest some bran to help ease the process.
Across the pond, that great humanitarian, the Orange one, has decided to be magnanimous. He is not going to build just any wall on the Mexican border. He is suggesting a solar clad wall. He was overcome with self pride as he congratulated and complimented
himself on his idea and imagination, at a rally in Iowa.
He went on to say that it would create energy and the higher it went the better. This way he claimed, the Mexican Government would have to pay less for the wall.
Could someone research to see if Tangerine Man is a fan of Liam Gallagher and attended the Glastonbury Festival in 1994. It will explain a lot to the rest of the world.
Until next week, try and keep it light.
I would like to start with an apology. I was so immersed in British politics and the resurrection of JC (the modern day bearded version, not the man from Galilee) that I completely forgot the other big news. The Clooneys have had twins!
A boy for him and a girl for her - not being sexist, just quoting the lyrics from 'Tea for two', it could be the other way around, I don't care - just a lovely piece of news. I have been a George Clooney fan since his ER days. Amal appears to be his alter ego - just as self assured, good looking and intelligent as him. I don't know if she has the same sense of humour but it doesn't matter because judging from his interviews, he has enough for both of them.
Those kids are off to a good start; think about the combined gene pool. Physical attributes, intelligence and the fact that they are not named Armadillo, Chestnut or Sonning. Just good, solid, recognisable names - Alexander and Ella. Take heed all you wannabes who name your children Honeypot and Gooseberry. Better to give your children ordinary names and hope they turn out to be extraordinary rather than the other way around.
Recently, a serpent crawled from under a rock and made its way to Goa. Upon reaching this lovely, harmonious land, she then spit out her verbal venom on Goans, proclaiming that 'beef eaters should be hanged'. I will not name this person because I do not wish to give her or the people who represent her views, the oxygen of publicity.
I suggest that she crawls back under her rock and takes her scum with her. Goans, irrespective of their personal religious beliefs, have lived together very happily for centuries, although it is rather sad to see the attempts made to chip away at our unique culture.
It started with closing down bars and tavernas located near highways. Well, we are all given free will and if the lorry drivers were threatened with hefty fines, losing their jobs and even jail, they would perhaps decide to not visit those bars while doing their jobs.
In turn, if those in charge of enforcing those laws were to lose their jobs and fined, if they succumbed to palm greasing, the whole thing would work very well, as it does in other parts of the world.
Instead, hundreds of restaurants and bars/tavernas have had to stop selling alcohol. In some cases, brewing and selling alcohol has been a family business for generations, yet they lose their livelihood for the reckless stupidity of those who wilfully break the law. Where is the logic in that?
Going back to the venom spuer, although the Indian Constitution allows for Freedom of Speech, it most certainly does not allow for 'hate speech' particularly when it incites religious hatred. So why and how was she allowed to make such an inflammatory statement and get away with it? Seems to me that if all Goans do not urgently do something about this chipping away at our way of life, we will eventually be Goan, Goan, gone........
Ages ago I saw the film The Towering Inferno. It made for uncomfortable viewing but you were always aware that it was a piece of fiction. But when real life imitates fiction and you see it on your screen, it saturates you with horror at what those poor souls who perished in the Grenfell Tower in Kensington, London and the survivors must have gone through
There is a lot of finger pointing and blame but the priority should be to support the survivors and families of those who perished, as well as fit all tower blocks with sprinkler systems, to avoid anyone experiencing this sort of hell again.
Until next week, take it easy.
May day! May day! May may not be PM for too long. While Jeremy Corbyn Morris dances in his office with his Corbynistas, almost as if he has won the election, Theresa May must be rueing the day she went for a walk in Snowdonia, where she got 'clarity' and 'inspiration' to call for a snap election.
We all know that Mount Snowdon didn't gently bend towards her to whisper in her ear, 'Call a snap election, Tess'. We know that it was Nick Timothy and Fiona Hill, her aides who did the whispering. And like all whisperers who give bad advice, they have resigned.
In one of my blog pages 'Reflections on the Week' I mentioned that David Cameron handed Theresa May a gun loaded with just one shot with article 50 engraved on it, which was fired on 29th March, 2017. Well, turns out there were two shots and after firing the first, she later aimed the other, with 'snap election' engraved on it, and shot it right at her designer clad foot.
She is limping along, using the DUP as a crutch to stay in power. Yes, the DUP - the homophobic, climate change denying, Pope bashing political party. How long will that honeymoon last, before, to use the terminology of that great linguist, Gywneth Paltrow, the two parties uncouple.
Public money to the tune of 130 million pounds was spent on this election. Imagine how many food bank shelves could be stocked with that money or to put it in language TM might understand, imagine how many designer shoes could be bought with that money. A lot of money spent, for her to discover that she is not as popular or as strong or as stable as she and her party imagined. A painful, expensive and ego bruising discovery.
Personally, I think it was her reckless admission of the naughtiest thing she has ever done - running through wheat fields. I bet it was those irate farmers' votes she lost. And who can blame them? They labouriously spend hours growing their crop, they put up scarecrows to deter the birds and then what happens? A young Theresa May decides to run through them!
She could have said that she nicked her father's cigarette butts (if indeed he smoked) or that she pulled a chair from under someone... but no, she had to be cutting edge and admit to running through fields!
In the meanwhile, Jeremy Corbyn's grin these days could almost rival Donald Trump's when he met the Pope. Talking of which, it's a shame JC is not yet in contention to be the Prime Minister because he has a plan on how to handle Donald Trump when he is being contrary.
He says that he would write 'Sorry mate, you're wrong'. This he says would be a handwritten letter. As if the tangerine who tweets would be impressed by that. In his lovely vision of the world, JC probably imagines that Trump's little hands would tremble as he opens the handwritten letter and then he would be so overcome with repentance at his contrariness that he would vow never, ever to be contrary again.
Corbyn missed his calling. He should be a writer of children's fairy tales - they all have happy endings. Real life.....not so much.
Until next week, try and keep it light.
Three attacks in three months, perpetrated by forces intent on dividing the United Kingdom. It is hard to make light of the news when the news is so grim. But isn't that just what these soulless destroyers of peace want? To suck the joy out of living? So let's not let them.
One such act of solidarity and defiance is the concert that was held in Manchester yesterday for the victims. It was headlined by Ariana Grande and hats off to her, after all she is just 23 years old herself and went through the trauma of what happened to her fans and their parents at the end of her concert just two weeks ago. A truly inspiring and Grande performance.
In the meanwhile, that great statesman that is Donald Trump is in the news again. I wish it was trumped up news but unfortunately (I am tempted to bring the word 'alas' out of semi-retirement) it isn't. He has taken the USA out of the Paris Agreement on climate change. The future is not so bright, the future is orange.
Some people might find Gywneth Paltrow a little irritating. I don't agree. I find her extremely irritating. In a recent interview, she started out sounding self deprecating, so I actually read the blooming thing. Well, I exaggerate, skimmed through would be a better definition. I did this thinking that the self awareness she espouses, might actually have 'manifested' itself in her at last. Unfortunately (tempted by the word 'alas' again) not a hope in hell.
She spoke about having difficulties like everyone else.....but how she has used every single hardship as a stepping stone to something outrageously successful. She gave her magazine Goop as an example. Yes, the magazine that tells us how to make $200 grass juice smoothies with a little moon dust (I kid you not) thrown in.
In case you are interested, she stands by her decision to call her divorce from her husband 'conscious uncoupling'. Sorry Gwynie, you can consciously uncouple as much as you like (preferably in the privacy of your own home), as far as I am concerned a divorce by any other name is still a divorce.
Apparently, Louis Payne (I'm impressed I remember his name) is keen to have another baby with Cheryl whatever- her- surname-is -at- the- moment. I wish she would just be a Payne now that she has had a baby with one. Maybe they should have another baby and call him or her 'Window'.
Until next week, try and keep it light and stay safe.
