Ding, dong, the King is gone!

 

King Frump ruled his country for almost four years. Alas! During those four years, King Frump had forgotten that he wasn't actually the King of the country that he ruled. In fact, his country practised something known as democracy.

King Frump didn't like that word, on account of it meaning that people got to choose who could rule them and King Frump only liked the dimly frumpy people who liked him and wanted him to rule them forever. 

The people who were dimly frumpy and wanted King Frump to rule them forever, got very cross with the people who liked democracy and wanted to choose whether King Frump should continue ruling them or whether Toe Hidin' should rule them.  (They wanted Toe Hidin' on account of him being kinder than King Frump, who was only kind to himself and his daughter).

This made King Frump so apoplectic with crossness, that foam and froth started to bubble from his mouth. Some people said that it wasn't crossness that was causing this. They said that he was drinking too much of his special drink known as covfefe

King Frump, who was a very clever man on account of the jeans he inherited from his scientist uncle, came up with a plan. He told the people that if he won, it would be fair and if he didn't win, it would be unfair.

The dimly frumpy people, who preferred a demagogue to democracy, thought that this was a very clever plan. 

King Frump went on the platform that was social and tweeted his clever plan, many, many times. The people who liked Toe Hidin' and democracy, said that King Frump's clever plan was excrement from a bull.

Mr. Hidin's assistant, Tabla Paris told everyone that he would be a marvellous King, even though he had a toe that was shy. People believed her on account of her being very clever. She was cleverer than King Frump because she inherited her jeans from her mother.

King Frump's assistant, Bike Fence was unable to help him. People said that he once took a swipe at a fly and that the ghost of the fly now stalked him. Even Mother could not help him get rid of the fly.

But that didn't matter, on account of there being many people who were happy to spread Frump's excrement from a bull. One of them was a woman called Dayleigh Macaroni, so called, on account of her using words that were twisted like macaroni, every day, when she spoke to the people with microphones and cameras. 

Meanwhile, King Frump's wife, MelonYa? confided in a friend that she no longer wanted duck at Christmas. She was also sad that people thought that she did not think about anything, so she decided to think about something.

After thinking about many things, she decided to think about bullying. She called it MeBest, in honour of herself and her husband, who was also the King of bullies. (Many people said that no one could bully like him. He was the best bully there ever was.)

The day of Selection came around and the people chose who they wanted to rule them for the next four years. It was not King Frump - it was Toe Hidin'.

All the people in the Kingdom, who loved democracy, rejoiced.

This made King Frump lose the two hinges that kept him together. He kept mounting the platform that was social, and like an angry bird, he tweeted even more excrement.

The dimly frumpy people believed King Frump's angry bird tweets. They got violently dangerous and stormed up an important house on a hill, where there were lots of important people. 

This dismayed the un-frumpy people, on account of their Kingdom now starting to look like it only sold bananas. 

All this made the owner of the platform that was social, very cross and King Frump got pushed off the platform forever.

Alas! King Frump was not banished from the Kingdom. He still lives in the Kingdom, in F-a-r-t-o-go with MelonYa?

All the people (except for the dimly frumpy people) are happy that he does not live in the Bright House.

Toe Hidin' lives there now, with his wife, Dr Pill (so called, on account of her being a tonic to everyone who meets her) and the Bright House is shining brighter than ever.

Before leaving the Bright House, King Frump once again tried to impersonate a peach. And once again, Fancy Pay-Lucy was having none of it.

King Frump had a final wish as a king - he wanted the people to do something to remember him forever. They decided to dedicate this rhyme to him...

Ding, dong bell

Frumpy's in the well

Who put him in?

Fancy Pay-Lucy thin

Who'll pull him out?

No one... he's way too stout!

Until next time, try and keep it light.

A slightly less than lighter look at the news

On January 6th this year, one might've hoped that Presidente El Trumpo, would have a moment of Epiphany and realise that he had lost the US Election and that he did not stand a chance in hell of residing in the White House for four more years.

Well, one would hope but one would be rather silly to have such a hope, not after four years of watching this tweeting tangarine veer from offering ridiculous cures for the Coronavirus, to recently making a phone call to Georgia's Secretary of State, Brad Raffensperger, asking him to pluck out 11,780 votes from thin air.   

(On the bright side, I can stop calling him a tweeting tangarine, now that he can tweet no more. Thank you twitter....never was the saying, 'Better late than never,' more apt.)

Although the whole thing sounded like a tacky tribute act to 'The Godfather' (I half expected a horse's head to be dropped into the conversation), to be fair, he wasn't asking Mr. Rafensberger to do all the dirty work. He helpfully came up with a name to explain away the potential, miraculous discovery of precisely 11,780 votes - recalculation.

Unbelievably, quite a few people laughed it off as the rantings of a man who knows his days are numbered. 

Not sure if they are still laughing because on the 6th of January, while the electoral college votes were being formalised,  President Sh*tstirrer waved his tiny, black begloved hands and riled his slowpoke followers to such an extent, that they stormed the Capitol building, while he slunk back to the Whitehouse to watch the chaos unfold.

Now, one might ask, how did this actually happen? After all, we, the rest of the world, saw how efficient the law enforcement in the US can be. We saw many examples of this efficiency in the summer of 2020.

Sadly, that efficiency appeared to be missing on this occasion. Notwithstanding the presence of important politicians in the building, there appeared to be some reticence in coming down heavily on the slowpokes. A Tom Selleck wannabe policeman even got his 15 seconds of fame, as he happily posed for a selfie with one of the slowpokes.

Quite baffling, really. I mean, a man was allowed to recline behind the desk of the Speaker of the house, with his feet on the desk. I suspect if  that man belonged to different race, he would've been shot before his backside even touched the chair.

Who am I kidding? He probably would've been shot at before even entering the building, much less the office of the Speaker.

Another image I found striking, was that of a woman on the arm of a policeman, being gently guided down the steps of the building. Now, unless she was his grandma, who had inadvertently got mixed up in the riotous crowd, what the hell did he think he was doing.

If Granny slowpoke was fit enough to climb up those steps, she jolly well should have been left to her own devices to manoeuvre her way down. 

My guess is, once again, had Granny slowpoke been of a different race, the policeman would've helped her down the steps, only it probably would've been with a swift push in the back.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have their work cut out for them. It was unsettling to witness the most powerful, democratic country in the world, resemble a banana republic.

Hopefully, after the 20th of this month, President Tin Pot and his followers, the Slowpokes (I prefer calling them that, because Trumpists just perpetuates the name) fade away. The lot of them, whether they be a person, woman, man...lets hope they disappear from in front of camera(s) and TV(s).

Until next time, try and keep it light.