Once upon a time not so long ago, a beautiful actress met a young Prince and to cut a long, real life fairy tale, short, he asked her to marry him and she said yes.
She was truly a modern day Cinderella.
The people of the Kingdom started a Go Fund Me page to raise money for what was to be the most memorable day in the Prince's and Cinderella's lives but most importantly, in the lives of the people in the Kingdom.
The day of the wedding arrived and the people were deliriously happy.
Unfortunately, just like the original Cinderella, the bride had a mean family, who sold mean stories to people with cameras and computers, who then sold it to the people in the kingdom and all over the world.
The people read the stories but most of them did not mind. Some even felt sorry for the bride and her Prince. At least she has a lovely mother, they consoled themselves and each other.
They looked forward to her doing her duty, walking beside her husband, looking pretty and mostly keeping her mouth shut.
But then she started to have opinions and, goodness gracious, she dared to share them. How dare she preach about the environment and then travel by air to her destinations, the people cried, forgetting to be happy.
How dare she not emulate that young climate change activist, Greater Iceberg and put her money where her mouth is, they cried crossly.
If Cinderella and her Prince were going to preach to them, the decent thing to do, would be to travel in a zero emission sail boat, like Ms.Iceberg.
However, the people were not as cross as the special people with cameras and computers. Now they were really cross.
They were almost apoplectic with crossness.
The crossest of all the cross people with cameras and computers, was a person called Pisst Jargon. He could not stop saying mean things about Cinderella and slowly, some people started to become almost as mean as the evil people with cameras and computers.
Then the couple were expecting a baby and people were happy once again. But not all the people were happy. Some people were unhappy because they thought that she had a pretend bump and was expecting a pretend baby.
When she had a real baby, they were cross because the new parents did not share pictures of the real baby (except for a foot) and they did not tell the people who the fairy Godparents of the baby were.
When Cinderella and her Prince were out and about with the people of the Kingdom and with the people of the world, Cinderella kept touching her Prince's back to remind him that he had a spine. She knew that he was very upset because some people said that he had lost his spine.
Like all first time parents, they got very tired and decided to go on holiday to her Country. But then they remembered her mean relatives. So, they went to the country next to hers, the land of King Cointreau.
A few weeks later, they returned to the Kingdom to say that they would like to quit, as they quite liked living in the country next to hers and would like to spend quite a lot of time there.
Also, the Go Fund Me page could now be closed. Most people were now cross and sad.
Once again, the crossest and the saddest of all, were the evil people with cameras and computers.
Their fairy tale was changing before their eyes and they sadly and crossly watched as their English Prince prepared to escape across the pond with the goose that laid their golden eggs.
However, not everyone was unhappy. Indeed two men were so happy, they kept reaching into their pockets and touching their 'Get out of jail free' card.
They were the Prince's Uncle, Prince Randy and the leader of Cinderella's Country, King Frump.
(Prince Randy was under suspicion for his inability to sweat and King Frump was wanted for impersonating a peach).
Until next time, try and keep it light.
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