The lighter side of King Frump Part I

Once upon a time, there was a man who was the King of the most powerful country in the world. His name was King Frump.

The people in the Kingdom were divided in their opinion of King Frump - some of the people thought that he was the best thing since sliced bread (even though sliced bread had not yet been invented) and some of the people did not like sliced bread, and so they did not like King Frump and wished that he had not been invented.

King Frump mostly talked to his people after climbing onto the platform that was called Social and he turned into the angriest of all the angry birds on that platform.

He made the meanest of all the mean tweeting sounds on the platform and of all his mean tweeting sounds, the meanest were about the king who ruled before him - King O'Charmer.

But King O'Charmer did not pay him or his mean tweeting sounds, the slightest bit of heed - he was living his happily ever after life, with his two daughters and his wife, Seashell O'Charmer.

However, not all of King Frump's tweeting sounds were mean. He made some nice tweeting sounds about his friend King Putout. King Putout lived in a far away country and ruled his people with an iron fist. King Frump also ruled his people with an iron fist but it was a tiny iron fist.

Sometimes, they liked going horse riding together. King Frump's favourite horse was a pony called Squattie, on account of the fact that he always looked like he was squatting.

When King Frump rode on Squattie, his feet touched the ground and he felt safe.

King Putout liked to ride stallions without upper garments - King Putout, that is, not the stallions - although they too had no garments, not even saddles.

King Frump had a wife, Queen MelonYa? The people in the Kingdom said that Queen MelonYa?'s face looked like she had just played a game of cards, that was called poker. 

(MelonYa? was King Frump's third wife. His first wife was called FellonYa and his second wife was called TellonYa).

They said that MelonYa? had a face that looked like she had just played a game of cards that was called Poker on account of her face having no expression.

But that was not true. Sometimes when she was in the close proximity of  the King of the Country next to theirs   - King Cointreau - her face looked like she had just played a game called Russian Roulette, quite flushed and full of expression.

King Frump had a daughter, who he would have liked to make his queen but he was not allowed, so he made her a princess instead - Princess Savannah.

He also had some sons but he could not remember their names, so he made them all Princes and let them work in his Court.

Things in the King's Court, called The Bright House, were looking good but then things started to look not so good.

The people did not know what really happened but they knew that it involved a peach. 

There were unsubstantiated claims that he coveted a peach. 

But some people said that he impersonated a peach. (Rumour had it that he ran around the Bright House dressed as a peach, shouting 'I'm peach', 'I'm peach'). 

A procrastinator lady called Fancy Pay Lucy, decided to listen to him and Impeach.

Now no one knows what will happen, but his followers, the Frumpians, are certain that he will be fine - he is after all, the best thing that has happened to them since sliced bread.

The rest of the people still wish that he hadn't been invented.

Until next week, try and keep it light.