A lighter look at the news

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I'm afraid no matter how much I try to hear Ye, he doesn't make any sense at all.

During his recent visit to the Oval Office, he said something to the effect that he feels like superman when he dons on his 'Make America grate again' (sorry for the typo) cap.

I thought it was meant to be a cape but who am I to argue with God.

Jokes aside, I thought it would take an act of God to make Donald Trump realise what it feels like to be at the receiving end of verbal diarrhoea and Kanye did just that.

So, I thank Ye but remember tomorrow is Sunday - your day of rest (and respite for the rest of the world).

I put on the news just in time to hear Melania Trump in an interview claim to be 'the most bullied person on the world'.

That didn't surprise me. In fact I had this mental image of her running away from her husband and sitting on top of the world to get away from him.

Sadly not. She was talking about cyber bullying. I am sure all those miserable, lonely teenage victims of cyber bullying are feeling so affiliated with the First Lady.

Awwww dee dums. Poor Melania. Actually, I am a bit chilly as I have been sitting down for quite awhile, so excuse me for a minute while I put on my jacket.



If you have been reading my blog for a while (thank you), you may remember that I suggested that Theresa May should invite Taylor Swift over to 10 Downing Street.

I suggested that Tay May and Tay Tay sharing afternoon tea would be good for her image.

Instead, she called for an election, lost her majority and ended up with that handsome DUP woman as a partner. 

Never mind, I don't hold a grudge, so I will offer my advice again. Only this time, instead of afternoon tea, I suggest a dance mash up between Tay May and Tay Tay.

They both appear to have scarily similar dance moves and the world could do with some levity at the moment.

Who better that Britain's Dancing Queen and America's Pop Princess to provide it?

Taylor Swift Dancing to Cruise at CMT Awards


Theresa May dances on to the stage at the Tory party conference

Until next week, try and keep it light!

A lighter look at the news

You may or may not wonder why Brexit has not figured in  my blog posts recently. I have a confession to make - a guilty (albeit innocent) secret.

The topic of Brexit puts me to sleep. Literally. Such good news for an insomniac like me. I tuck myself in bed, think of Brexit and before you can say 'Jean Claude Juncker', I am in the Land of Nod.

Who said nothing good would come out of Brexit?

Meanwhile, I am not sure if Melania Trump has resigned herself to join them because she can't beat them (them being her husband and his cronies).

Why else would she decide to visit the children separated from their families at the borders and held in 'tender age' camps,(a good decision - her visit, not the camps), and then proceed to wear what appears to be a bespoke jacket that reads, 'I really don't care, Do U?' (a very bad decision).

For someone who got an 'Einstein' visa to the US, that was a rather dumb thing to do. 

I have a suggestion that might help Melania, if the backlash gets too much. Do what her husband's good friend Roseanne Barr did, to recover from her own b(l)acklash: start planting, digging the earth and singing.

And while digging, make sure she buries that awful jacket.

While on the topic of insensitive behaviour, on Fox news, a Democratic Strategist, asked a former Trump Campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, his opinion on a 10 year old Down's Syndrome girl being separated from her mother on the Mexican border.

Mr Lewandowski's dignified response? 'Womp, womp'.  

In the meanwhile, poor Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House Press Secretary, booked a table for eight, in her husband's name, at a restaurant called 'The Red Hen' in Virginia.

When the staff realised who was dining at their restaurant, they called the owner, who immediately made her way to the restaurant.

Apparently, she took a vote with the staff (a few of whom were gay and most of whom were not happy with the immigration debacle) and based on their wishes, she took Ms Sanders to the patio and requested that she leave.

Ms. Sanders said fine and left with her party. She later tweeted this:

Awwwwwww!! Such a delightful and confident insight into her own psyche and personality. 

I have two words to say to Ms Saunders, and considering the company she keeps and the administration she works for, it should make sense to her, 'Womp, womp!' 

Apparently, Trump supporters are set to protest in front of the restaurant. In other words, they are going to show their support for the Orange Rooster, in front of the Red Hen. 

Until next time, try and keep it light!

A lighter look at the news

It is March and Spring should be on its way in Britain. But not this year. This year, we are being treated to some more than liberal sprinkling of snow.

As usual, things have ground to a halt and this has given some Nordic Countries and Canada (in other words countries that spend half the year shovelling the white stuff), the opportunity to poke fun at us by way of tweets and memes galore! 

Among the tweets and memes, there are 'look at us' show off ones - basically people in skimpy underwear diving into freezing lakes (whatever floats your iceberg I suppose) and  'you pitiful Brits' ones. 

A poor little Kingfisher in Amsterdam was frozen solid. I half expected to see a Scandinavian/Canadian tweet saying 'our birds fly without feathers in -20C.' But then again, it happened in Amsterdam not Britain. 

I seem to recall a late summer heat wave in some parts of Canada last year. I also seem to recall a lot of complaining and a Marathon being cancelled.

What I don't recall is people in hot countries like India going, 'look, they shed most of their clothes in their 'heat wave'. Look at us with our long sleeved shirts and long trousers!' Or 'they cancel their marathons because it's 37C, we play cricket all day long in over 40C temperatures!'

Theresa May has given her third Brexit speech, the gist of which is that we can't have our cake and eat it as well. I'll be surprised if anyone is surprised by that mighty revelation.

Be that as it 'May', the Prime Minister would do well to at least put the ingredients together, taking great care not to let Bo Jo anywhere near the mixing bowl, lest we are left with no cake at all, to have or to eat. 

Melania Trump is playing her hand games again. Only this time, it was less of a bone shattering swat and more of a hand evasion. She expertly dodged the  presidential hand and pretended to use her hand to hold her skirt in place.

Before that, on their way to North Carolina, Trump, ever the gentleman, had dashed out of his car and run up the stairs of Air Force One without a backward glance to see how his wife was coping in the very windy conditions.

Not that I blame him - he was probably trying to avoid another bad (windswept) hair day.

Anyway, in a bid to make up for his thoughtless trot up the stairs, he tried grabbing Melania's hand when they arrived. As if that was ever going to work but full marks for bravery.

Until next week, try and keep it light!

A lighter take on the weekly news

What is it about Donald Trump and his hands?  A couple of months ago, on his visit to the Middle East, Melania swatted his hand away with the panache of Serena Williams hitting an ace on Championship point at Wimbledon. Irish reporter Catriona Perry surely felt like doing the same when he beckoned her towards him while on the phone to her Prime Minister Leo Varadkar.

Now, in another ‘hand’ incident, the Polish First Lady, Agata Kornhauser-Duda, chose to ignore DT’s outstretched hand and warmly clasped Melania’s instead. I know that his hands are reportedly small but I didn’t realise they were small to the point of being invisible. Or maybe, considering his previous misogynistic comments on what his hands got up to in the presence of women, this is the Universe’s way of telling him to keep his hands to himself.

Apparently, Ed Sheeran has come off Twitter because of the abuse he has received on it. Most of it appears to be people calling him a ‘ginger busker’. I think someone is being a bit thin skinned and precious.  I am sure there will be thousands of buskers, irrespective of their hair colour, willing to chop off their guitar strumming hand, be it right or left, to trade places with him.

Now, it is not often that my blood boils. But Goa’s Tourism Minister has managed to do that. ‘Why?’ I hear you ask. Well, the man has had the temerity to say  that Goans’ favourite cuisine is fish, hence the ban on beef does not affect Goans or its tourism. Someone slap the man with a wet fish. Maybe that will make him understand the principle of freedom of choice in a democratic country. It is akin to saying that Britain’s favourite brew is tea, so no one will mind if coffee gets banned.

On the other hand, India’s Supreme Court has stated that the ‘highways’ that pass through cities can be reclassified as Municipal roads and therefore, may not be subject to the alcohol ban. At last common sense prevails! Let’s raise a glass of feni to the Supreme Court of India. The voice of reason in the otherwise bewildering ‘non’sense that seems to be taking over this tolerant, multicultural, multi religious, much beloved Country.

I read somewhere that a drunk tourist in Goa was slapped for urinating in public, in front of a shop. All I can say is I hope they slapped him on both cheeks, twice over - above and below!

Wimbledon tennis has begun! I watched four matches today. Two men’s matches and two women’s.  The women’s matches were nail biting three set matches, won by Radwanska and Wozniacki and the men’s were bland, three set, straight forward matches, where Djokovic and Federer respectively wiped the grass with their opponents.

Now I do not wish to upset my Mum but does anyone else find Roger Federer a tad smug? I know it will make his army of fans furious but his army of fans do not read my blog unless you count his army of one - my Mum.

At the risk of incurring her wrath, I have to say, although I admire Federer’s  tennis, the smug demeanour of the man irritates me. And in the spirit of ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’, why does his wife always look like she’s forgotten to take her happy pills? Give me our dour Scotsman anyday. At least with him, what you see is what you get.

Until next week, try and keep it light!