A brief and light look at the FIFA World Cup 2026

 

The FIFA World Cup is done and dusted. I must admit that, despite my reservations, I did rather enjoy it. I enjoyed watching Cabo Verde not being overwhelmed or overawed by their first foray into the World Cup. 

I enjoyed watching Jude Bellingham's unapologetic confidence mixed with a tinge of arrogance. I particularly loved it when he handed the ball to Saka in the semi finals, to score through a penalty and achieve a hat trick. I loved watching the Norwegians row their boats on dry land.

Unfortunately, I did not enjoy all of it. I did not enjoy the dubious decisions made by some of the referees. I think Specsavers could approach them to make a rather convincing advertisement, as they appeared to be vision impaired, albeit, selectively. 

I did not enjoy the fact that one of the host countries got their red card overturned, just because their President, the renowned footballer, Donaldo, thought that it wasn't fair.

I did not enjoy Argentina expecting England to play on their knees. Instead of football, the semi final turned into a game of FIFA Fo Fum, I smell the sweat of an Englishman. Whack!

Spain got the measure of them and would not let Argentina play their football version of Whac-o-mole, in the finals. Sadly, Messi decided to join in his team's united effort to gain an unfair advantage. 

When he saw the opportunity to get Cucurella of Spain sent off, he turned into a little six year old, tittle tattling on a classmate. Up shot one hand, while the other pointed at a panic stricken Cucurella and his wind swept hair. For once, the referee wasn't having any of it. All that Messi achieved with that petulant, childish display, was a dent to his reputation.

Spain persevered and won 1-0 in extra time. It ended (shock horror) in a brawl. When a semblance of sanity was restored, the awarding of the medals by the President of Fifa and the President of the USA, could proceed. One of them must've struggled not to magpie a couple of medals for himself. I hope they frisked him before he left the stadium. 

Finally came the handing of the trophy to the winning team. Infantino and Donaldinho very carefully carried the trophy across to the podium,  where, for the first time, the leader of the host country 'helped' to present the trophy to the Captain of the winning team. 

After presenting the trophy, one of the Presidents walked back and the other didn't.  Guess which President did not. He lingered on, looking to bask in some of the glory. This prompted Captain Rodri to diplomatically, but firmly, put his hand on the back of the interloper, to guide him away.

Alas, he wasn't successful, as a few steps further, the interloper stopped and planted himself next to the team. This caused Infantino to sprint across the stage in his dazzling white trainers, to try and coax the grinning, clueless oaf, off. 

Finally Infantino managed to lead Toddlertino away and Spain could have their moment to bask in their well deserved victory. 

Until next time, try and keep it light. 

 

 

 

A lighter look at the news

 

 

You may be a hermit, living in a cave, on an uninhabited desert island and you would still be aware that a global sports event is taking place. 

Every four years, a country hosts this sporting event, to decide which country in the world is supreme at kicking a ball and shooting it into the other sides' net, guarded by a be-gloved man, doing his best to stop said ball.

This time, it is the turn of three countries in the continent of North America, doing the hosting. The United States of America, Canada and Mexico.

Up until now, the US has been largely indifferent to football. Maybe it is because they call it 'soccer'.  Maybe it is because they have their own 'football', where, paradoxically, there is minimal kicking of the ball. Dare I say, it is a bit like a glorified version of rugby.   

But it appears to have changed. The US is now impassioned about football - so impassioned that recently, their supreme leader, was supremely incensed that one of their players was given a red card in a previous match and would, therefore, not be able to play in their next match against Belgium. 

So he did what any supreme leader would do. He called the President of FIFA and asked him to 'review' the decision, as he, the Supreme Leader and an aficionado of football, thought that it was not a foul.

The President of FIFA, Infantino, is someone whose mother looked at him when she gave birth and had no problem imagining him as a grown man. Infantino is also a man known for his imagination. He is famous for using this god given gift of imagination, to create and bestow, a special peace prize to the Supreme Leader. 

Thus, at the behest of the orange Pele of Supreme Leaders, Infantino obliged by reviewing and revoking the red card. Despite this, Belgium won. The players celebrated by performing the Supreme Leader's special dance. The dance where he appears to be tugging on the invisible udders of two cows.

In the meanwhile, Britain's wannabe supreme leader, the man whose name rhymes with garage, is up to his old tricks again. He has willfully resigned as MP of Clacton, thus trigerring a by-election, which he will re-contest. Count Binface :) is his only opponent. The other political parties are not playing along. 

To give you an idea of our own Poundland Trump's voter base, a reporter asked a supporter of his, what she liked about him. She was sunbathing on a beach whilst protecting her modesty with a towel. She considered her answer for all of two seconds. I like that he says woh he thinks, came her reply.

When the reporter asked for her opinion on his ongoing  5 million controversy, she asked Woh 5 million? Sharp as a tack, that one. Obviously knows as much about politics as the Supreme Leader across the pond, knows about football.

    Count Binface v/s Count Spinface

 

Until next time, try and keep it light.