A lighter look at the news

From time to time, I may come across a person and think to myself, 'they really can't tell their a**e from their elbow'. I guess you're shocked - you didn't think I was judgemental did you?

Nothing about my blog gave it away. 

Anyway, I confess to thinking this on more than one occasion, where the supposed leader of the free world is concerned.

Except, I suppose, in his case, it's more 'can't tell his thumbs from his mouth' (or a**e, same difference).

However, I'll admit I was wrong. It appears, he actually can't tell his kidneys from his heart. 

During a recent speech, he said, and I quote, 'the kidney has a very special place in the heart.'

And, just in case you thought he meant it as an idiom, he was actually thumping his heart as he said it.

One can take consolation in the fact that at least he knows where his heart is located.....even if he thinks it's being fondly cradled by his kidneys.

From one narcissist to another, Gemma Collins, who apparently has a new reality show that is about to air (why????), appears to be fashioning herself as a nature lover, who hugs trees.

Poor, poor, trees. They take in our carbon dioxide and nourish us with fresh oxygen and what do we do? We inflict Gemma Collins on them.

Apparently, she is shown in a clip, wrapping her arms around the trunk of a tree and whispering 'nature'.

I would give anything for the tree to whisper 'attention seeking human' back at her.


She then had the audacity to go on instagram and ask if anyone else hugs trees or if it is just her.

I know her brand is being 'thick' but even she has to know that she hasn't discovered the hugging of trees.

I am furious on behalf of all tree hugging hippies and Prince Charles. 

However, I have to confess that a part of me is a tad tickled at the first case of cultural appropriation within a race that I have come across.

Going back to the potential scriptwriter for the fourth season of The Handmaid's Tale', also known as the President of the United States, despite his diatribe against the four congresswomen of colour, he claims that he does not have a single racist bone in his body.

I am quite sure the man speaks the truth. I am quite sure he doesn't have a single racist bone in his body. I am sure all the bones in his body are racist.

Mind you, that would be hard to prove. I think even a skilled surgeon or indeed an archaeologist, would be hard put to dig out any bone in his body, surrounded as they are, by all that racist blubber.

Going back to his, 'if you are not happy, leave and go back to your country' jibe at the congresswomen, I wonder why he hasn't looked closer to home.

The last time Melania smiled in public was when she met Pope Francis and the two tittered at the girth of her husband, with the Pope asking her if she feeds him Slovenian nut roll (apt) 'potica'. 

One would assume since she hasn't cracked a smile since then, she is not happy. So perhaps he should busy his little hands and help her pack, not forgetting to pack this item of clothing.

Until next time, try and keep it light!