This week Theresa May visited the continent of Africa and took her alter ego 'Tay May' with her. Unfortunately, she also took her dancing shoes along.
When she was greeted with enthusiastic dancing from some youngsters, Tay May got quite enthusiastic herself and broke out some dance moves of her own.
Actually, they were not her own. She was trying to mirror the youngsters' moves but whereas they looked rhythmic and cool, Tay May looked like she was trying to relocate some ants from her pants.
She did appear to have successfully relocated them to her shoulders because she then started some jerky shoulder moves with periodic arm extensions.
Well, to be fair, at least she tried. If she hadn't tried, I would not be inspired to come up with this brainwave of a suggestion (if I do say so myself).
At the next Brexit talks, Tay May could try twerking. All she'll have to do is make one promise - to stop - and I bet we'll get the best deal ever.
It might even go down in history as 'Twexit'.
Just one precaution - someone will have to monitor Messrs Banier's and Juncker's pulse rates to make sure they don't hyperventilate.
If you remember last week, Labour MP Dawn Butler (of Jamaican heritage) was very vexed with Jamie Oliver for Jerking rice and selling it in packets in supermarkets.
Apparently, one should only jerk meat, or perhaps fish, if one is feeling adventurous. But never rice. That is sacrilege.
St Jamie of Oliver did not get the memo, and not only did he jerk rice, he committed further sacrilege by not including a single jerk ingredient in said rice. Not a scotch bonnet was to be had in the entire packet of rice that he claimed to have jerked.
Ms Butler called it appropriation and suggested that he contact Levi Roots (Mr Jamaica himself) to help him.
This week, by sheer coincidence, someone sent me a box of Ainsley Harriott's Goan Spiced Chicken Soup.
Now, I have lived in Goa for 30 odd years. In all those odd years, I have never come across any soup like the one described by Ainsley (coincidentally, of Jamaican heritage).
Nevertheless, since I said in my blog last week, If it looks good and it tastes good, keep calm and eat it, I decided to put my food where my mouth is ....and I wish I hadn't.
It did not look good, it tasted even worse, and subsequently, I did not feel the need to keep calm. In fact, I flipped ...... the box to check the ingredients.
Mixed spice powder (coriander, cumin, chilli, paprika and turmeric), garlic and coconut cream along with 1% chicken powder. In other words, curry masquerading as soup.
On an aside, what the hell is chicken powder? I have gory visions of someone hanging a slaughtered chicken out in the sun to dry (we've had the summer for it), then pounding it and grinding it and taking a pinch of it to add to Ainsley's Goan chicken soup.
Also, since when does 1% of anything, allow it to pose as the main ingredient?
I remember the most popular soup I consumed as a child, growing up in Goa. It had onions, tomatoes, stock and rice or pasta in the shape of tiny alphabets.
Not the biggest culinary delight I'll admit, but if Ainsley Harriott had flogged the real thing, I would have polished it off, along with a ladleful of nostalgia.
Until next week, try and keep it light!
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