A lighter look at the news

He came (unfortunately), he didn't see (the protesters probably looked like so many ants from his helicopter) and he certainly did not conquer (unless one counts Piers Morgan, but one wishes not to). 

From Britain, Donald Trump proceeded to Helsinki, to meet Putin and to attempt to make Russia great again. Unfortunately for him, the proverbial hit the fan.

Now, I don't know if his advisers are getting tired of cleaning said fan, but they came up with an excuse so lame, it came with its own crutch and knocked 'the dog ate my homework' right off the top of the list of 'all time crappy excuses'.

Apparently, Trump says that he 'misspoke' and said 'would' instead of  'wouldn't'. Yes I know - crutch time! 

It is scary the difference omitting two letters with an apostrophe in the middle, can make. I can see a scenario where DT apologises to the world - 'Sorry folks, I misspoke, I said, 'do push the button' when I meant 'don't push the button'. Sorry folks.'

How did his pal Vlad say thank you? He gave him a football. Trump proceeded to throw the football to Melania. 

Now, I am not stereotyping but Melania looks like she has played a game or two of volleyball in her time. Shame she didn't smash the ball right back.

Missed your opportunity to become a living legend, Mel.

In the meanwhile, Susanna Reid has said that a whole lot of people - left wingers, right wingers and male feminists - are putting pressure on her to quit her job on Good Morning Britain. (The irony of male feminists telling a woman what to do. Old habits die hard, I guess.)

The reason for their demand, is the person who sits next to her - her co-presenter Piers Morgan. There is a furore over his contrasting interviewing methods with Ash Sarkar and Trump's former adviser, Steve Bannon. 

He brayed like a demented donkey at Ms Sarkar and played all nicey, nice with Mr Bannon.

Which begs the question - why demand that Ms Reid lose her livelihood on account of his actions? Why not demand that ITV sack Piers instead? 

Or, here is a radical idea - just don't watch the show. There is one thing every TV presenter and his/her show depend on for their survival - Ratings.

But then, where is the fun in common sense, as opposed to self righteous indignation, protestations, not to mention  attacking the wrong person. 

Burberry have apparently burnt excess stock (bags, clothes, etc) worth 28 million pounds. A strange phenomenon occurred when I read that. 

As I picked my jaw off the floor, the biblical proverb, 'it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle........ 'crossed my mind simultaneously. Such a peculiar coincidence.

Nevertheless, I have a suggestion for Burberry. I understand (somewhat) that you don't want to sell your precious stock at  reduced rates, lest your customers decide to play the waiting game.

So, to start with, why not sell goods at their original, eye watering, exorbitant rates and with the left over stock, have a badge sewn on, that says something like, 'second time round' and give the proceeds to a charity of your choice. 

Children affected by war, Women who are victims of domestic violence, Malaria, Abused children, Cancer research, Feeding the hungry..... you are spoilt for choice.

Fashion is creative. Creativity and imagination go together, like a hand and a bag, so stop showing such embarrassing lack of imagination and get creative with your left over stock.

No thanks necessary, although I am open to offers for the post of 'Adviser'. My fee would be less than 1/50th of the value of your burnt up stock and I may even consent to an interview with Piers Morgan.

Until next week, try and keep it light!