A lighter look at the news

 

 

 We are told as we get older that we should start learning new skills to maintain our intellect. This advice must have come to the attention of President Stable Genius from across the pond. 

He probably decided to look into the matter in an attempt to not just maintain, but to sharpen, his two brain cells. It is common knowledge that two of the best ways to do this is either to learn a new language or a musical instrument.  He appears to have settled on the latter and is said to be honing his skills on the Harp.

He and the Harp appear to be making sweet music but I do not think that the First Lady is enjoying the tune that is coming out of the Harp. 

I see a future Netflix documentary in the making or maybe even a dramatisation, not unlike The Crown.

Talking of The Crown, apparently, Harry and Meghan are returning to the UK. Also, apparently, according to a YouGov poll, 87% of the British Public do not care one way or another. Unfortunately, the remaining 13% are clambering over every rooftop that is available, with a megaphone and screaming their outrage.

They screamed their outrage whilst Harry and Meghan lived in the UK, they screamed their outrage when they left, they screamed their outrage whilst they were in the US and they are screaming their outrage now that they are set to return. 

One can only deduce that anything and everything about this couple makes them apoplectic with rage. Begs the question, why?

A British man leaves his country with this wife and child to live in her country for six years and then decides to return to his country with said wife and their two children. 

What part of that makes the media and trolls so incensed that they lose all perspective? I wouldn't even hazard a guess, lest I get dragged into the quagmire of vitriolic hate that exudes so effortlessly from them. 

However, I confess to being mildly curious about their decision to return. There seems to be no line that the media won't cross when it comes to speculating, fabricating and judging their every move. 

When that jowly broadcaster confessed in an article that he hated Meghan on a cellular level and dreamed of the day when she was made to parade naked around every town in Britain, whilst crowds shouted 'Shame,' I fully expected that the tables would be turned on him and most of the nation would shout 'Shame' at him. Sadly, that didn't happen. 25,000 people did complain and if memory serves, he ended up with an insignificant slap on the wrist.

But fear not. He is said to have been horrified at the hurt it caused and that he would be careful in future. Maybe the 25,000 people who complained, helped him come to that decision. 

Or maybe we will have a better chance of seeing a pig fly, than any of these hacks feel any remorse over some of the ways in which their relentless pursuits of some people end up in tragedy. 

Back to keeping things light. When you were young, did you ever want to be a sports star? And if you did, was being a Finger Wrestling Champion on top of your wish list? I don't blame you if it wasn't or if you actually haven't heard of the sport. So, let me enlighten you on my newly acquired knowledge of Finger Wrestling.

The two contestants taking part sit opposite each other, with a table in between. It involves both of them using their middle fingers (of course) around which a leather band is wrapped. They then have to try and knock each other over the side. Such fun!

It is said to be excruciating but it is not specified whether that is for the participants or the spectators. On the plus side, it took place in Bavaria, so there probably was enough beer to make sure that no one was feeling any pain, be they spectators or contestants.

Until next time, try and keep it light. 

 

 

 

  

A lighter look at the news

Last Thursday, a circus came to town but has now, thankfully departed, taking its ringleader with it. The ringleader, typically, caused jaws to drop with astonishment at his antics, but in this case, not in a good way.

Air Force 1 crossed the Atlantic and landed on British soil and the President of the free world prepared to descend the stairs. Next to him was the First Lady. He tentatively grazed the knuckles of his small hand against hers.

I held my breath in  anticipation of a Wimbledon inspired whack of the little hand. Unfortunately, on this occasion, the First Lady capitulated and let her hand be grasped and together they descended the stairs.

There were between 50,000 to 100,000 people demonstrating on the streets of London but Donald Trump and his sensitive ego were shielded from them, as he was transported from one venue to the next, by helicopter. 

Not that they should have bothered. Even if he was driven through the thick of it, I suspect his response would be the same, as the one he gave the journalist who asked him for his reaction to the thousands of protesters - 'the British people love me'.

That evening, Theresa May hosted a red carpet dinner at Blenheim Palace. She arrived with her husband, resplendent in red (Tay may not her husband) followed by the arrival of America's First couple.

Melania glided along, looking like a daffodil with wings, alongside her husband, looking like an orange moth clad in black, with no wings.

The military band started to play and I half expected them to strike an impromptu version of 'Lady in Red' in honour of our Tay May (or 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon' in honour of Melania). Unfortunately, they stuck to protocol and it all went smoothly.

The next day, Trump and Melania met the Queen. Don donned on the same dopey grin he'd donned on when he met the Pope. Queen Elizabeth II has probably played host to a few misogynistic narcissists in her time, so for her, it was just another day at the office.

There was a news conference that beggared belief. At one point, DT refused to listen to, much less answer, a question posed by a CNN reporter. 'You're CNN - Fake news' he said dismissively, turning away. 

Can you imagine what would happen if Theresa May refused to answer a question from a BBC or Channel 4 reporter?

How does a democratically elected President of a free country, get away with that sort of behaviour?

After a couple of golfing days in Scotland, he is now on his way to Helsinki, to meet his good friend Putin. Perhaps Putin will show Trump how to twerk his man boobs while fishing bare chested. It doesn't get more manly than that.

One can only hope Putin will have dried off, after the downpour at the trophy giving ceremony at the end of the World Cup Finals.

Come to think of it, that should not be a problem, considering at the first hint of a raindrop, a massive umbrella covered Mr. P, while his guests, the Presidents of France and Croatia, got soaked to the skin in the heavy downpour that followed. 

Tsk, tsk, such bad manners with the whole world watching.

Btw, Congratulations France and well done Croatia.

At another great sporting event, the Wimbledon Ladies' Final, two sisters-in-law sat next to each other. Because of their privileged status, they occupied front row seats in the royal box.

Kate and Meghan looked lovely and relaxed, chatting to others and each other, with the occasional smile. Nothing out of the ordinary. But, according to Meghan's father, Thomas Markle, he can see the pain and sadness behind his daughter's smiles.

I agree. I too saw sadness behind her smiles. I actually detected some misting of the eyes as well. Only natural, considering her good friend Serena, failed to win her 24th grand slam title. Not, I suspect, as her father claims, because she is unhappy being a royal and misses her acting career.

One would choose to offer the same advise to Mr. Markle as one has already offered his motor mouth daughter Samantha - stop talking. 

Stop making public, unsubstantiated comments and start building trust. Not pontificating, just offering some friendly advice. Take it or leave it.

I suspect  if a tick box appeared next to each option, 'leave it' would probably get ticked before you could say 'sparkle markle' (sigh) One can only try.

Until next week, try and keep it light.

A lighter look at this week's news

I was pleasantly surprised (and relieved) to see that Melania Trump can actually smile, albeit, it took a French Emmanuel to achieve this miracle.

In fact, she positively beamed on occasion during the Macrons' visit to the US and was ever so slightly coquettish, when the French President held her hand for a beat longer than necessary.

Unfortunately, also beaming and being quite coquettish with Macron, was her husband and it appeared to be reciprocated. But then again, you don't get to bear the name Emmanuel and not attempt to love everyone....saints, sinners, buffoons... the lot.

Talking of buffoons, Kanye West was probably including me as part of the 'mob', when he tweeted, 'The mob cannot make me not love him (Trump)'.

Now, this may come as a huge shock to you (and your ego) Mr. West, but I, for one, have no intention of stopping your love fest with Trump. In fact, I have a suggestion.

Since both of you are no strangers to reality shows, why not start one and call it 'Doh West', although, 'Carry on Trumping' would probably be a more apt title.

Pleasant surprise number two came when Melania smiled again! This time at Barbara Bush's funeral. Ironic, that most of the time she looks like she is  attending a funeral (or sucking a lemon or tangerine) but when she actually attends a funeral, she smiles!

I am being slightly disingenuous, it's not as if she was beaming through the whole service; it was when past Presidents and First Ladies (and a lady photo bomber) posed for a photograph.

I found that photograph fascinating - first of all, you had smiley Melania (possibly brought on by the absence of a certain President) with her arm around Michelle Obama's waist.

Then there was George Bush, with one arm around his wife, Laura and the other around Hillary Clinton, who was smiling delightedly.

Never mind that her hubby appeared to be relegated to the background - he might as well have kept the photo bomber lady company (unless her name was Monica Lewinsky, of course).



DJ Chris Evans recently claimed that our Queen (Elizabeth II) loves ABBA and that her favourite song is 'Dancing Queen'. That is a relief. Being the cynic that I am, I had a sneaky suspicion that it might be 'God Save the Queen'.

I am talking about the official version of course, not the Johnny Rotten version. It would be of serious concern if that was her favourite.

Another titbit to appear is that she doesn't like garlic. Why is that a surprise to anyone? One would not want one's breath to smell while one meets and talks to important people.

Now, One, who blogs to important people (and can therefore love and eat garlic) has to bid one goodbye and implore one to try and keep it light until next week (but if one gets tempted, one should indulge in moderation).

Weekly news

Donald Trump ventured out of the USA on a foreign tour. His poor aides must have suffered from 'heart in mouth' disease the whole time. Can you imagine how it feels, when your boss is the president of the most powerful country in the world but wouldn't recognise, much less practice, diplomacy if it lifted his toupee and bopped him on the head?!

In the meanwhile, Melania wasn't having any hand holding PDA. When he attempted to hold hands, she impressively and expertly swatted it away like a tennis player whacking an orange tennis ball.

Not that I blame her. Here is a tip for you Mr. President. When you want to hold hands with your wife, slow down, wait for her to catch up and then gently hold hands. Do not look straight ahead and without breaking stride, stretch your arm behind you and waggle your fingers at her.

From the Middle East to Italy, where they met Pope Francis. Trump was gushing and looked very impressed. Judging by a photo taken with the trump family, the Pope didn't share the sentiment. He looked like a stern headmaster, unlike Trump, who stood beside him, grinning as if he was in an advertisement for toothpaste.

Melania, the second catholic first lady after Jackie Kennedy to meet the Pope, wore a  look that rivalled the Pope's in sternness, and a black veil, which to put it delicately, was less than flattering. Seems like she may have forgotten to cast a glance in a mirror after donning it on.

I have discovered something that the Pope has in common with Goans - the ability to make unsolicited comments and observations on a person's weight!

Making reference to Trump's waistline he asked her what she fed him, to which she replied 'Potica'. Apparently, it is a highly calorific Slovenian pastry. And I thought it was large, fat, juicy steaks.

Trump said that he didn't want to call the terrorist who set off a bomb in Manchester a monster, he said that they were all losers.
I call them 'less humans'. Heartless, merciless and soulless. 

Ironically, the one quality that is the most desirable in all humans, is also a 'less' word - selfless. Among all the selfless deeds of kindnesses displayed by the people present at that time, I would like to focus on this one because I think it gives new meaning to the word 'selfless'.

A couple, Kim and Phil Dick, went to pick up their 17 year old and 16 year old daughter and grand daughter, when the bomb went off. While desperately trying to look for their girls, they came across a dazed and badly injured 14 year old girl. Her hair was singed, she had a melted plastic bag stuck to her hair and was bleeding profusely.

This amazing woman sent her husband to look for their girls, while she looked after this girl, consoling and reassuring her, before the paramedics arrived. Fortunately their girls were unharmed.

Every parents' instinct in such situations is to reassure themselves of their own child's safety. For this woman to put this basic, human instinct to one side, to look after someone else's child, is heartwarming and gives us hope that these perpetrators of darkness and misery will not win.

Until next week, stay safe.