Once upon a time in the land of Brexit

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, the people of a country were deciding what to call their country. They really loved biscuits, so they called their country Britannia.

But they were not completely satisfied with the name, as they wanted it to be a great country, so they went to lots of places in the world and asked the natives, very politely, if they could rule their countries and the natives, very politely, said yes of course.

As the years went by, Britannia truly became great, so the people  were able to call their country Great Britannia. But then, the light bulb was invented and the countries that were being ruled by Great Britannia, started to have light bulb moments and they thought that it might be a good idea to rule their own countries.

So they very politely asked the Great Britannians if they could rule their own countries and the Great Britannians, very politely, agreed. 

Now, they were no longer the biggest and best Umpire of the game they invented, called Cricket and they missed not being the best Umpire.

So, they joined a continent called Euphoria (even though they were always part of the continent) in a Union called Euphoria Union and everyone that belonged to the Euphoria Union were very euphoric. 

But then, more countries from the continent called Euphoria, started to join the Euphoria Union and some people in Great Britannia started to be not so euphoric.

A leader called Vapid Toblerone decided to let the people decide if they wanted to stay in the Euphoria Union or not. He produced many slips of paper and urged the people to tick the box that said yes, that they would like to continue being in the Euphoria Union.

On the same slip of paper, Mr Toblerone (very reluctantly) also had a box that they could tick if they no longer wanted to be euphoric (he had to, on account of something known as democracy). 

Some people (more than Mr. Toblerone had bargained for) ticked the box that said that they did not want to be euphoric any longer. 

The eyebrows of all the Britannians shot up at this most unexpected result and most people said that Vapid Toblerone had made a pig's ear of the whole thing. 

Some people were not surprised, as he was rumoured to have whispered sweet nothings in a pig's ear before.

The upper lips of the people that did not want to stop belonging to the Euphoria Union, lost their stiffness and began to wobble. And those that did not want be in the Euphoria Union, were miraculously giddy with euphoria.

Everyone agreed that it was a very curious situation.

In the meanwhile, after the people had spoken (although no talking had taken place, just ticking of boxes), Vapid Toblerone and his wife, Placenta and their children, left the special house they lived in (with the special numeral X on it). 

The new leader was a lady known as Appeaser Tay, who tried to live up to her name and appease everyone. Alas, she appeased no one. People said that this was because her heart was not in it.

Her heart was in dance. Before she became leader, she was a  dancing queen but one day during a particularly energetic dance routine, the heel of her very special and very dear shoe, broke. Her ankle was damaged and she could no longer be a dancing queen.

Now, all she was able to do was hobble in an odd fashion while dancing. But she did try any chance she got and the people loved her for it.

That was the only thing they loved her for. So she was replaced by a man who people called Morris Paulson. 

Morris got his name because he was so patriotic, he could not stop doing the patriotic dance called Morris dancing - he constantly jumped up and down and waved his arms in the air, whooping from time to time.

All this jumping up and down made his hair look very messy. One day he jumped so high in the air, he got stuck on something called a zip wire.

The Britannians chuckled and called him a very silly man. When he became leader, he told the people that he was no longer silly and promised to never get stuck on a zip wire again. He also promised to get the job done.

Now, apparently, the job has been done. 

Although this situation is what is known as unprecedented, lots of people know what will happen. 

They have crystal balls and they look into these crystal balls and go onto the platform that is Social and tweet like birds that are cuckoo and tell the whole world what will happen next....  

Until next time, try and keep it light.