BREXIT!!!!!!!!!!

BREXIT!!!!!! Really?????  Mind you this is not an opinion about whether we should stay or go. This is an opinion on the word ‘Brexit.’ From the land of Shakespeare, at an important time, with an important decision to make, instead of being generous with our words and starting up important debates like ‘to go or not to go that is the question’ or ‘to stay or not to stay that is the other question’, we lazily fuse words together and come up with ‘Brexit’. Something that sounds like a bran remedy for constipation!

 Now I have used the word ‘we’ but really, who actually came up with it first? There is no doubt that we certainly turned into sheep and jumped on the baaaaandwagon. I can’t remember the last time that I actually heard someone say, ‘Britain’s exit from the European Union’ or ‘Britain’s exit from the EU’ or indeed just ‘Britain’s exit’. Since I do not know who came up with the word, I have a theory – it was a ‘smart’ phone (probably one named after a fruit). I have always smiled at the irony of a ‘smart’ phone that has sent a completely different and idiotic message to the one I intended, using words that don’t make sense and making me look anything but ‘smart’. Actually, I lie. I don’t always smile – I sometimes shout or use a cross word (to put it politely). I have this scenario where a hack was on his fifth whiskey, missed some keys on his laptop while typing about the referendum and the word ‘Brexit’ jumped out and he thought (in an exaggerated British accent that you hear in American shows) “That will do, couldn’t be ar*** to change it”. And created an unattractive word that no one will thank him for. Please remember, I am indulging my imagination here.

A couple of Sundays back, I watched Boris Johnson being interviewed by Andrew Marr. He was his usual blustery self (which is why his hair is permanently tousled – all that blustery air blowing upwards). He was very enthusiastically informing us about the exciting opportunities we could have if we were Brexiters (or Brexiteers as I recently read in a newspaper – heaven help us all, it keeps getting more ridiculous). A picture of pure Utopian proportions was being painted. It was Brexit this and Brexit that and then to my complete and utter horror, just when I couldn’t think of a more irritating word, BJ came up with one – ‘Bremainers’! He was so taken with himself and his use of ‘Bremainers’ that he appeared to forget the adage ‘there is no such thing as bad publicity’ and used it repeatedly. Fortunately for me, I didn’t forget that the TV has an ‘off’ button.

Seriously, I am finding it difficult to make a decision. It would be easier if both sides didn’t dramatically exaggerate the consequences, behaving as if they have access to a huge crystal ball and predicting extreme doom and gloom if you voted for the opposite side. Will this island really sink from the sheer weight of migrants, as the Brexit camp will have us believe? (Yes I know that I have jumped on the baaaaaandwagon but it’s only a joyride, I will be jumping off in a minute.) Will we have an ending that is opposite to Cinderella’s - ‘from riches to rags’ as the Bremainers will have us believe? I don’t know - as I type this, I am shrugging my shoulders the way they do in films about the Mafia – just painting a picture in case (and I flatter myself here) someone is actually reading this.

The best thing I have read recently on this topic is the referendum prayer that the Church of England has sanctioned – ‘God of truth give us the grace to debate the issues in this referendum with honesty and openness.’ Are you listening, all you Brexiters and Bremainers? No more scaremongering, just honesty and openness. If that happens (and pigs might fly but please send them in the opposite direction of David Cameron), we might actually listen, and if you are really honest and open, we might actually come to an informed decision. The God of truth might then prevail and Britain might carry on being Great.