It has been quite a while since I wrote my last blog post. Why now? Because, when I need a distraction, I find that taking a light hearted look at what's happening (or happened) in the news, is quite therapeutic. Also, a lot has happened.
We, here in the UK, acquired a new King. Charles promised to modernise the monarchy. And true to his word, he rocked up to his coronation in a golden, horse driven, carriage, resplendent in a bejewelled crown, a cloak that looked like it had been lifted straight out of Cruella de Ville's closet and clutching a staff in one hand ('Holy Moses' was my somewhat apt reaction).
I wish I could tell you more but I stopped watching there. I may've been tempted to continue if Louis had been one of the Pages. I can imagine him yanking Cruella's cloak or snatching the staff out of grandpa's hand and bopping people on the heads with it. Alas, he wasn't, so I switched off.
We also got a new government. Conservative Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, unexpectedly called for an election and not unexpectedly lost to Labour. I don't know much about our new Prime Minister, except that his title and his name rhyme - Sir Keir. I also imagine, if I asked to speak to the manager at a Waterstones book shop, someone who looked like him would turn up to talk to me.
Talking of British Prime ministers, Liz Truss, has been seriously fangirling over Donald Trump. Honestly, the lettuce that outlasted her tenure as PM, would make a better salad than words coming out of her mouth. It makes me quite cross that she can, if she wishes, pocket a six figure annual sum of money for her 45 days of chaos.
I also hope Rishi Rich doesn't claim any money, simply because to him, £115,000/- is like loose change in the pocket of his ready-for-the-floods-at-anytime, ankle length trousers.
For sometime, politics across the pond was a snooze fest (and I mean that literally).Trump frequently fell asleep during his hush money court trial. At some point, he woke up to find that the jury had found him guilty of 34 felonies. It should have been 35 but he got away with the charge of causing unease due to his gaseous emissions. That charge was dismissed on the grounds of reasonable doubt, what with gas being invisible.
Then there was the much anticipated 'Debate' between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. Unfortunately, President Biden had an out of body experience. The lights were on but nobody was home. The man on the other side, predictably lied through his teeth and every pore of his orange tinted skin.
Undecided voters in the US wrung their hands in consternation. However were they to trust an elderly career politician who had a senior moment (albeit one that lasted for almost 90 minutes) as compared to an elderly, career fraudster! It started to get tense, as the fraudster appeared to be gaining favour.
He appeared to gain even more favour, when an assassination attempt was made on his life. A bullet, shot by a republican, whizzed passed his ear, taking a few skin cells off his pinna with it. Sadly, someone did get killed while trying to protect their wife and daughter.
With no pressure put on him at all (except perhaps from Clooney, Pelosi and maybe a few other prominent democrats) President Biden came to the independent decision to step down. He invited his VP Kamala Harris to step into his place. And suddenly, there was music and dancing, optimism and good vibes, and most importantly, joy.
On the other side, there was, and still is, whinging, vitriol and dour predictions. And, I imagine, there's more than just tomato ketchup being flung at the walls. There appears to be the toxic trial name calling to see what sticks (Kambala, komrade, crazy and that old chestnut, 'crooked'.) But nothing appears to be sticking. It's as if the walls are coated with teflon.
On the one hand, Kamala Harris' VP pick, Tim Walz, appears delightfully charming and exudes joy. On the other hand, Donald Trump's VP pick, J.D. Vance (he of the obnoxious 'childless cat ladies' fame), has all the charisma of a disgruntled turnip.
So, whilst Harris is dancing with Walz, Trump has no choice but to dance with Vance.
The US elections have gone from being boring to being exciting and I can't wait to see it unfold.
Until next time, try and keep it light.
