A lighter take on the news

Apparently, Donald Trump was quite the statesman when he toured Asia recently. That is, until his dear friend Kimmy decided to call him an 'old lunatic'. 

Hell hath no fury than the Donald scorned. How dare Kimmy call him old! In Mr. T's world, what can be chronologically proven, is apparently considered fake news but what is debatable, like being called a lunatic (although, in this case, not a lot of debate would be required I would imagine), is okay.

Anyway, the Presidential thumbs got busy and a counter insult was issued by way of a tweet. Mr T. said that he would never call Kimmy 'short and fat', thereby, calling him short and fat! Calling each other lunatics and fat .... I would imagine if the term 'takes one to know one' wasn't coined yet, it certainly would now. 

Theresa May seems to have found the key to successful Brexit talks. Her smile! Yes, it appears to be something as simple as a Tay May smile. Michel Barnier looked positively mesmerised as he sat opposite to her. 

The more she smiled - she even threw in an occasional beam - the more he appeared to acquiesce. Just as well they were sitting down, otherwise he 'may' have gone week in the knees.

At least, that is my take on it. I watched it for a bit on TV but didn't listen to any of it. No, May's hypnotic smile didn't cast a spell on me. The weather outside was depressing enough and seeing the PM smile after such a long time, gave me hope. False hope, most likely, but hope nonetheless.

Boris Johnson has at last apologised to Nazanin's family for his blunder. One would now hope that he keeps a low profile. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that there aren't other Johnsons lurking about.

Papa Johnson is all set to appear in 'I am a celebrity, get me out of here.' How about, 'I am not a celebrity, don't get me in here'.

Remember Michael Gove? Former Education Minister, then Brexiteer, who tried to back stab Bobo Johnson to become Prime Minister? Fittingly, neither got to be PM.

Looking at him, one would think even an archaeologist would be hard pressed to find a single humourous bone in his body and one would think right.

In an interview with Radio 4, he likened being interviewed by John Humphrys, to walking into Harvey Weinstein's bedroom. Stick to back stabbing your colleagues Mr Gove - it's far less insulting and when BJ is at the receiving end, it may even be a tiny bit funny.

Last Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing was very enjoyable. Perhaps it's because none of the judges worshipped at the altar of Debbie McGee. They did still fawn but I can't imagine them ever not fawning over Ms McGee.

I suspect she could turn up in a sack and roly-poly around the dance floor and Shirley would say, 'I have travelled the world and seen top professional dancers  but I have never seen such graceful roly- polying with such amazing musicality and timing', before brandishing a 10!

Anton du Beke and Ruth were voted out. Quite rightly, I should think, although Anton did miss a trick. I have a feeling it was his wardrobe that kept them in all this time.

So, when they did their foxtrot, Ruth did do her bit by trotting for England but Anton did not do anything gimmicky with his wardrobe (this time). A foxes' outfit might have done the trick.  Sadly (I am being kind) Ruth, Anton and his wardrobe are out of Strictly.

Until next week, try and keep it light!

A lighter take on the news

Sorry to repeat myself but we all know that the Brexit talks appear to be going nowhere at breakneck speed on a treadmill. The EU are playing hardball and Britain is threatening to break away without a deal.

Desperate times call for desperate measures and I have a suggestion that might just work. At this point in time, the PM doesn’t have much to lose anyway.

So, at the next Brexit talks, she could borrow Susan Calman’s Wonder Woman outfit from Strictly (anything will be an improvement from her patchwork blazer) and perhaps swap Wonder Woman’s cape for the Union Jack.

She can then get onto the podium, rock up to the microphone and belt out Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I will survive’. It might even send a message to her own cabinet ministers.

I have just heard on the news that Theresa May has left the Brexit talks today ‘not empty handed’. Which means a tiny crumb has been pressed into the palm of her hand but it’s still all about the money.

I assure you I am not living under a rock but for some reason, the fact that the media call Taylor Swift ‘Tay Tay’ completely passed me by until this week.

Well, I have yet another suggestion for our PM. Her people could try to get the media to start calling her Tay May. This affectionate nickname might endear her to some people (and she might actually fly when she dons on ‘Wonder Woman’s outfit).

Also, she could extend an invitation to Taylor Swift to visit 10 Downing Street. Tay May could have Tay Tay over for afternoon tea.

Some of Jeremy Corbyn’s young followers might change allegiance. You never know, stranger things have happened. We all know that Tay Tay has sway sway (couldn’t help myself) over quite a few young fans.

A Tory MP, Tim Loughton has said that he takes an hour long bath in the morning. Why on earth would someone luxuriate in a bath for an hour in the morning?

I personally would go straight back to bed if I had an hour long bath in the morning. I think (and this is only a suspicion) that Mr. Loughton is deflecting to justify the hour he spends in the bathroom.

If you look at his pic (below) those eyebrows don’t groom themselves. The effort and skill to balance the sparse with the lush, to end up with such a dramatic and uplifting effect cannot be achieved in the blink of an eye.

Last Saturday saw the departure of Charlotte from SCD. I personally think she should have been given an automatic pass into the next round after Shirley called her ‘Mollie’ and there was no immediate correction. For all we know, some of Mollie’s votes may have been intended for Charlotte.

Charlotte did improve, albeit through little baby steps. Nevertheless, I thought that was what the show was about - to see improvement. Shame no one appeared to have told the judges that, when they were scoring her.

It probably took Charlotte as much effort to do her routine as it did seasoned performer Alexandra to do her fabulous jive. I did love it though. I cannot wait for her Samba tomorrow.

Somehow Simon and Brian managed to get through to the next round and Davood ended up in the ‘Dance off’ with Charlotte. Simon’s shirt was so loud, you could hear it a mile away before they (he and his shirt) arrived.

Not sure about the dress Head Judge,Shirley Ballas, wore on Saturday’s show. It looked less Strictly, more ‘Amadeus’. She also looked terrified that she was going to trip over.  Bruno wafting next to her was probably more a hindrance that any sort of reassurance.

Unsurprisingly, Davood got voted through to next week.

Until next week, try and keep it light!

A lighter take on the news

Apparently, the EU talks have reached a stalemate. I can't see anyone raising even a fraction of a millimetre of their eyebrows in surprise at this 'news'. It's not all doom and gloom though. 

I have a suggestion for any budding entrepreneurs who may be reading this blog. Bring out a new board game in time for Christmas. Call it 'Post Brexit! - The Ball is in your Court.'

The game could involve giving non-answers to important, relevant questions, followed by the chucking of a marble sized ball into the opponent's 'court' with a simultaneous shout of 'the ball is in your court!'

To make it even more interesting (or scary), the game could include masks of Theresa May, David Davis, Merkel, Juncker and whoever else takes part in these talks. (Said masks could be brought out for Halloween the following year).

I don't like poking fun at someone when they are down, so I will resist the urge to comment on the multi coloured patch work blazer Mrs May sported recently. All I will say is that someone who has Mrs M's interest at heart, should check on the loyalty of her wardrobe adviser - he or she could well be a turn coat.

Strictly Come Dancing saw Reverend Richard leave the show last Saturday. Simon (must've broken poor Shirley's heart) and the Rev were in the dance off.

The judges unanimously decided RR should leave and I am not surprised. Turns out, he was less Flash Gordon, more Flash in the pan.  On the bright side, his parishioners must be happy to have him back.

Until next week, try and keep it light.