You may be a hermit, living in a cave, on an uninhabited desert island and you would still be aware that a global sports event is taking place.
Every four years, a country hosts this sporting event, to decide which country in the world is supreme at kicking a ball and shooting it into the other sides' net, guarded by a be-gloved man, doing his best to stop said ball.
This time, it is the turn of three countries in the continent of North America, doing the hosting. The United States of America, Canada and Mexico.
Up until now, the US has been largely indifferent to football. Maybe it is because they call it 'soccer'. Maybe it is because they have their own 'football', where, paradoxically, there is minimal kicking of the ball. Dare I say, it is a bit like a glorified version of rugby.
But it appears to have changed. The US is now impassioned about football - so impassioned that recently, their supreme leader, was supremely incensed that one of their players was given a red card in a previous match and would, therefore, not be able to play in their next match against Belgium.
So he did what any supreme leader would do. He called the President of FIFA and asked him to 'review' the decision, as he, the Supreme Leader and an aficionado of football, thought that it was not a foul.
The President of FIFA, Infantino, is someone whose mother looked at him when she gave birth and had no problem imagining him as a grown man. Infantino is also a man known for his imagination. He is famous for using this god given gift of imagination, to create and bestow, a special peace prize to the Supreme Leader.
Thus, at the behest of the orange Pele of Supreme Leaders, Infantino obliged by reviewing and revoking the red card. Despite this, Belgium won. The players celebrated by performing the Supreme Leader's special dance. The dance where he appears to be tugging on the invisible udders of two cows.
In the meanwhile, Britain's wannabe supreme leader, the man whose name rhymes with garage, is up to his old tricks again. He has willfully resigned as MP of Clacton, thus trigerring a by-election, which he will re-contest. Count Binface :) is his only opponent. The other political parties are not playing along.
To give you an idea of our own Poundland Trump's voter base, a reporter asked a supporter of his, what she liked about him. She was sunbathing on a beach whilst protecting her modesty with a towel. She considered her answer for all of two seconds. I like that he says woh he thinks, came her reply.
When the reporter asked for her opinion on his ongoing 5 million controversy, she asked Woh 5 million? Sharp as a tack, that one. Obviously knows as much about politics as the Supreme Leader across the pond, knows about football.
Count Binface v/s Count Spinface
Until next time, try and keep it light.
