The Orange One across the pond is at it again. Not that he ever stopped but this time he and his thumbs have taken on a grieving pregnant widow of a Sergeant who was killed in Niger.
The widow claimed that during a condolence telephone conversation, DT couldn’t remember her husband’s name - ironically the husband’s name is ‘La Donald’, so how difficult could it be for The Donald to remember the name La Donald, is beyond me (and most people I guess).
Displaying classic ‘Empathy Bypass Syndrome’, the President took to twitter to refute her claim. I will repeat my suggestion of a few weeks’ back - take the phone away and put the thumbs into therapy. Don’t worry about the brain, it doesn’t appear to engage with the thumbs while tweeting.
There’s a woman called Sophie Tanner who was so desperate to be guaranteed perpetual marital bliss, she married who she thought was her perfect partner - herself!
Now, if you are single and tempted - I know you don’t have too far to look and you have the added advantage of already knowing your ‘partner’ - please don’t rush off to book the priest and the venue.
What Ms Tanner didn’t take into account is that we don’t always keep promises to ourselves. So, she cheated on herself and had an affair with some chap.
But now the affair is over and she has forgiven herself (so much easier when you are married to yourself) and hopes to live happily ever after. She and her ‘spouse’ have come to an agreement that this is their last chance. So, another affair and she will divorce herself.
That is why I urged you not to book the priest and venue. It is far more complicated than it sounds. I suggest that youh go back to Tinder (or whatever other matchmaking website you prefer).
Now you may not know this but Meghan Markle has a half sister. Up until recently, I doubt if Meghan remembered that she had a big sister, as apparently, they have been estranged for ten years.
As always, where there is fame, there are relatives who turn up to give their tuppence worth. Actually, they probably get more than tuppence, which is why they appear in the first place.
Anyway, Samantha Markle has spoken ‘affectionately’ of her little sister Meghan and thinks that, should Meghan and Harry marry, (love the rhyme), they will be amazing together. But, just in case it doesn’t work out between Meghan and Harry, big sister has decided to cash in right now and write a book.
The book is about the sisters’ life together - ‘a beautiful, warm, witty story.’ The title of said book - The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister.’ I couldn’t think of a more beautiful, warm and witty title, could you?
Strictly Come Dancing was fab on Saturday despite the absence of judge Bruno and his accompanying verbal and physical histrionics.
I know that Head Judge Shirley Ballas has an impeccable pedigree where dance is concerned. What I did not know was how ruthless she can be in psychological warfare.
Simon and Brian were in the dance off and of course we all know how much Shirley lurrrves Simon. So, when she was asked if she had any tips for Brian to improve in the dance off, she looked him straight in the eye and said ‘do not make any mistakes.’
Considering he hadn’t made any noticeable mistakes in the first place, I am not sure that it was suitable ‘advice’ but that did not stop Shirley from repeating her ‘do not make any mistakes’ advice a couple more times.
What did Brian proceed to do in the dance off? Make mistakes of course! Actually, so did Simon but we all know how much Shirley lurrrves Simon. You don’t need more than one guess to know who went through.
I have a bone to pick with Strictly. You know when there is an eclipse, we are told not to look directly at the sun? Well, why were we not given similar advice before Ruth and Anton’s routine? Those shimmering, sequinned trousers every time Anton moved cried out for eye protection!
Also, a storm warning would have been thoughtful. I could feel a gust in my living room and had to hang on to the arms of my chair every time he moved his arms.
At least I am assuming there were arms under those heavily frilled sleeves! I haven’t laughed so much since Mr Balls and his hip thrusting ‘Love Potion No. 9’ routine last year!
Until next week, try and keep it light!
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