A lighter look at 2019

It is the penultimate day of the year and I wouldn't want to make light of it on a personal level, so all I'll say is... thank goodness for celebrities (and Prince Andrew).

Gemma Collins (or the GC as she likes to call herself) took part in 'Dancing on Ice', a program that I choose not to watch. Even so, I was forced to read headlines about her diva tantrums. Until pride, literally came before a fall.

That certainly would qualify as the most 'ouch' moment of the year.

I am a bit conflicted whether to award the next person with the 'biggest knucklehead' of the year or the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' lesson of the year, and since I hate conflict, he that goes by the name of Jussie Smollett, shall be awarded both.

Imagine being a relatively successful actor and deciding that you deserve more and hatching a plan to get the more of everything that you think you deserve.

Unfortunately, there was just one flaw in his plan - it needed more brains. 

Hiring extras that are known to you and paying them with a cheque that has your name on it, is the opposite of a cunning plan.

Needless to say, the career of Smollett is now gonnett.

Another person whose career took a self inflicted nose dive this year, is Prince Andrew.

Like Mr. Smollett, the Grand Old Duke of York, also had a grand plan.

He would redeem himself by giving an interview to the BBC.

It is fair to say, he didn't just shoot himself in the foot. He shot himself in both feet, one toe at a time.

He certainly gets a clutch of awards. One would be for 'worst alibi' of the year.

'I went to Pizza Express in Woking that evening'. Impressive. I remember going to Pizza Express three months ago but do I remember the date or the time? Sadly, not.

But then again, one is royal, so a trip to Pizza Express and rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi may well have been traumatic enough to stick in one's memory for a lifetime.

I wouldn't be surprised if one had demanded a decontamination wash down after the trip.

Maybe that's how one remembers where one was that evening but one doesn't want to say, lest one comes across as snooty.

He also gets an award for 'most deluded opinion of oneself'.

Talk about not seeing the wood for the trees, his honourable highness doesn't appear to see the wood or the trees.

What gets me, is that most of us (who live in the real world), have enough self awareness to realise when we've made jackasses of ourselves.

Not Prince Andrew. He informed Mummy that the interview went swimmingly well, until the entire nation informed her otherwise. 

One then had to issue a P45 to one's own son.

The judges on Strictly Come Dancing this year, decided to bestow 10s like so much confetti being flung by over enthusiastic (and slightly inebriated) guests at a wedding.

Except for Craig Revel Horwood. However, he doesn't get an award for being the most sensible judge on a reality show. 

He gets the 'foot in your mouth' award, for complimenting Anton du Beke on his wig, glasses and fake teeth...except Anton's teeth were (and still are to the best of my knowledge) very much his own.

The 'dancing queen' award is most certainly Tay May's.

She has now danced out of No 10 and may well be available to take part in Strictly Come Dancing next year.

If that happens, Anton du Beke (and his authentic teeth) will almost certainly partner her.

I could go on, but I won't. 

I think there is enough here, no matter what sort of year you've had, to make you feel slightly better about yourself.

Until next year, try and keep it light.