The lighter side of King Frump Part II

A quick recap of The lighter side of King Frump Part I. 

Once upon a time, there was a King called Frump, who ruled a country that was known to be the most powerful country on the Planet that was called Earth.

King Frump was married to a lady called MelonYa? It was said that her name ended with a question mark because no one in the land could tell what she was thinking.

Some said that it was on account of her not thinking at all. But others said that it was perhaps on account of the fact that she was in their land because she was said to be as clever as a very clever man called Einstein.

Then, one day, a whisper went around the land, that King Frump had run around The Bright House, a house where Kings and Queens worked and lived, screaming, 'I'm Peach, I'm Peach'. 

Now, it was against the law to impersonate a peach, so a clever lady by the name of Fancy Pay Lucy decided to take him at his word and  Impeach.........

Part II

Even though some people in the Bright House had seen King Frump  impersonating a peach, he was allowed to be free, on account of him possessing a special coat. A beautiful coat. A coat like no other coat in the land. A coat that was called Teflon. 

To celebrate his victory, King Frump drank lots of  covfefe (a secret brew known only to him) and ate a bucketful of magic beans called Goya.

After that, King Frump got more and more kingly and the people got more and more cross. They said, very crossly, that he was getting too bigly for his kingly boots. 

'Bigly' was a word that  King Frump had invented because he was also very clever with words - beautiful words, words that no one had thought to invent, words that no one had ever heard of before.

The people in the land were sad to see that King Frump had not learnt the lesson that Fancy Pay Lucy had tried to teach him. He continued to carry on mounting onto the platform that was called social, where he continued to tweet like an angry bird.

He also continued to tweet mean things about King O'Charmer, who was the King before him. He tweeted that O'Charmer had committed a crime. He tweeted that O'Charmer's crime was that he had stolen a gate that did not belong to him. 

The people in the land were perplexed. They knew that O'Charmer was very clean on account of the many showers he took, although the showers he took were never golden, like the showers King Frump sometimes took. 

O'Charmer's showers made him so clean, he squeaked when he walked his cool walk. It was said that his walk was so cool, cucumbers turned green when they saw him walk his cool walk.

The special people with cameras and pens were the most perplexed of all the people in Frump's Kingdom. 

They asked King Frump where the gate that did not belong to O'Charmer was, but he would not say. He would only lift his little hand and point at them with a finger and remark, 'You know and I know where the gate is.' 

The special people with the cameras and pens did not know where O'Charmer's gate was. 

They also knew that King Frump knew that they did not know where O'Charmer's gate. They also knew that King Frump knew that they knew that King Frump did not know where O'Chamer's gate was.

There was a lot of knowing about not knowing.

So now, the people in the land, who were filled with crossness, were  filled with even more crossness. But not all the people in the land were filled with crossness. 

The Frumpians still loved their King. They loved him so bigly that the cross people no longer called them Frumpians. They called them dimly Frumpy. Some even called them bigly dimly Frumpy.

The bigly dimly Frumpy people did not care. They loved their King so much, they followed him everywhere.

They followed him on the platform that was called social and they even followed him to a place called Tosa.  

Now, at that time, a dreadful plague had descended on the land, so the people who were not dimly frumpy, thought that the dimly frumpy people were even more bigly dimly frumpy, for following King Frump to Tosa and not keeping a distance that was called social (just like the platform).

Once again, the dimly frumpy people did not care. They knew that King Frump possessed a special wand, that he promised to wave and make the plague vanish, just like magic.

King Frump also had a very fine, very beautiful brain. A brain full of science, which he inherited from his scientist Uncle's trousers known as jeans.

Thanks to his Uncle and his jeans, he used his brain full of science to come up with two magic portions. One was called Bleach and the other was called Hydroxychloroquine.

First, he tried to wave his special wand but it was too heavy for him to lift up with one small hand. 

Then, the magic portion called Bleach was considered. Sadly, some people not only considered it, they consumed it. It did kill the plague disease but alas, it also killed the dimly frumpy people who consumed it. 

Then, last of all, the  magic portion called Hydroxychloroquine was tried. Happily, it did not kill the dimly Frumpy people who tried it but it did not cure them either.

The cross people were now apoplectic with crossness but the Frumpy people continued to be bigly dim.

Now, there was a man in the Kingdom who was known to hide his left toe, so people called him Toe Hiden. He once helped King O'Charmer when O'Charmer lived in the Bright House with his wife Seashell. 

Toe Hidin' wanted to be King but he knew that he would need someone to help him, just as he had helped King O'Charmer. 

So, he politely asked a very clever lady called Tabla Paris to help him in his attempt to became the next King and she very politely said yes.

The cross people stopped being cross and started to cross their fingers instead.

What was going to happen? No one knew. All the people in the land were now going to play something known as a waiting game.

ps: King Frump also had a helper, Bike Fence, so called because he once rode a bicycle through a fence and his face never moved after that.  It was said that both he and MelonYa? were champions of a game that was known as Poker.

Until next time, try and keep it light.

If you have only recently started reading my blog (thank you and welcome) and you wish to read The lighter side of King Frump Part I (I flatter myself), the link is below:

https://to-rave-or-to-rant.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-lighter-side-of-king-frump.html

 

A lighter look at the news

It's been ten days since I blogged and in that time, the cognitively sound Tweeting Tarantula from across the pond has been relentless in his jaw dropping interviews, tweets, comments... you name, he's got the market cornered.

My brain cells have begged for some time off and I have relented...well, almost.

So, I'll keep it short. Recently, an attack on Joe Biden from Ace Cognito was deemed extremely personal and tasteless (as if good taste and the man have ever crossed paths).

He called Joe Biden an enemy of God. Rich, I know, coming from the man who held a bible upside down, for a photo op. while grinning like a Thorny Devil.

The resemblance is uncanny but the pic below is of the original Thorny Devil.

   

                           

While most people were outraged on behalf of practising Catholic Biden, I might play Thorny Devil's advocate and wonder if he may be privy to some classified information. Information that is so classified, it only resides in the head of his pal, Dr Stella Immanuel (she of the, watch out, the Aliens are coming to impregnate humanity, fame).

Stellar Stella is the only one at the moment who knows of a vaccine that has been developed to innoculate against religion. Maybe someone got close enough to Joe Biden to sink a loaded syringe full of anti-religion serum into his blood stream.

After all, has anyone seen him in Church recently? Well I know there is a lock down in place (those pesky coronas love to party where people congregate) but has anyone seen him live streaming Mass?

Yes, I know that would be an invasion of his privacy but who cares? The Thorny Devil sure as hell doesn't.

A quick segue into the corona virus crisis in the US. In his interview with Jonathan Swan, Donald Trump, the ultimate wordsmith, encapsulated the situation in one reassuring, cognitively sound, sentence, It is what it is. 

Now, he can wear a bespoke jacket with those words emblazoned on it, to match his wife's equally sensitively worded  jacket.

Until next time, try and keep it light. If the restrictions are getting you down, throw on a jacket, go for a walk and just remind yourself of what a scholarly gentleman once said ......

                          

 

A lighter take on the news

In my previous blog, I mentioned that it was a treat to not have to comment on something President Ding Dong from across the pond had said or done. I did also wonder how long it would last.

Well, you won't be surprised to know, that even as I was writing the blog, President Ding Dong had started ringing his bell. What brought it on? 

Well, you know how the original Emmanuel said the words, Lazarus, come forth and Lazarus came forth. A modern day Immanuel, a doctor, no less, uttered the word hydroxychloroquine and guess who came forth.

Yes, when the very cognitively sound President El Sharpo (who is also in touch with his feminine side, El Sharpie, which you only see on rare occasions like hurricanes) heard his favourite treatment for covid-19 being promoted by Dr. Immanuel he said, and I quote, I thought her voice was an important voice and she was very impressive.

I guess you could say that Dr Doolally's voice is an important voice and that she is impressive.....if you lived with your head in the clouds or in Uranus. Here on Planet Earth we have more traditional beliefs on how babies are conceived.

The cognitively sound President should know that. After all it involves two of the five words he had to memorise in that test that he aced - woman, man. 

(Apparently, it has become part of folklore that the doctors present at the time Ace Cognito took his test, are still looking for their socks, which he knocked off with his performance, the kind of which they had never seen before).

Maybe most of us are guilty of being boring and lacking in imagination but generally we tend not to think that conception involves a woman and an alien or a man and an alien who temporarily transforms itself into a woman and then they reproduce more of themselves. (And you thought I was being unkind when I called her Dr. Doolally).

Another of Dr. D's claims, is the existence of a vaccine that turns people against religion.

That explains the man I saw awhile back, lurking near a church in London, who appeared to be hiding a syringe in his hand. At the time, I thought he was a junkie. But now I have to wonder if it was a radical scientist, waiting to jump on a Catholic and inject them with a non-religious inducing serum.

I'm grateful that I don't live in the US. I would be in such a dilemma trying to decide who to listen to.....

These two....                            

                     

or, these two....

                                 

Until next time, try and keep it light. And keep a wary eye out for those pesky aliens looking to implant their DNA. If you do come across one, here's a tip: repeat hydroxychloroquine three times and sprinkle some bleach. I heard that they disappear.... just like magic!

caution: bleach can cause burns and uttering the word hydroxychloroquine can cause the appearance of a large orange man.